Idk how to stay sober… I have so many issues in my life I need to deal with and I swear they are everything to me but someway some how I keep relapsing… I’m a big believer in w.e you put your mind to you could do… & I’m highly accountable & still relapse… I keep tricking myself into believing drugs and alcohol it’s not a problem unless I make it one… tricking myself into believing I could still accomplish things with substances involved in my life… any advice on how to go the other direction?
12 Likes
It’s a brutal cycle, relapsing. It’s the same “oh it’s fine” then “well I already started” then regret, every time.
It’s a track playing on repeat. It’s exactly the same, every time; it never changes.
If you’re relapsing then something needs to change. In no particular order, here are some things people have done here:
- Go to meetings; www.AA.org or the ones listed here Resources for our recovery or Online meeting resources - go to as many meetings as you need; some people go to 2 or 3 on the really hard days
- Go to rehab: www.FindTreatment.gov
- Spend lots of time here on Talking Sober; any time you were drinking or using you could be here instead
- Think carefully about who you hang out with. If they’re just with you for drinking or using, then it’s time to go.
- Do new activities: exercise, yoga, cooking, etc - share here! Foodies Unite #4 (trigger warning food) DON’T GO BACON MY HEART! or Post photos of your pets #4 or 2022 Hiking Club (walking sober) etc etc - there are many threads
What have you tried? What have you not tried yet?
10 Likes
My sponsor told me that I never had a drinking problem…I had a thinking problem. While, yes I did have a drinking problem, his point was that I could “think” myself into anything being ok.
It wasnt until: 1) I believed drinking was no longer and option, and 2) would do anything to be sober that my life changed.
17 Likes
For me, the most important thing is my dreams for the future, that there is a goal! And in between, a lot of Milestones. No matter how small they are! And don’t be afraid to ask for help! Because right now, it’s you it’s all about! You are the most important thing in your life! you are worth fighting for! I really hope that you get the strength that you need. 
4 Likes
This thread spoke to me, I spent 4 years or so relapsing every 6 months or so on stimulants (meth pills), I only have 9 months today and am still at risk (as I will be for the rest of my life), but what has changed is I made ordering the pills no longer an option for me. Before that I always seemed to keep the possibility open. Relapsing was addictive and I had to give up my addiction to it.
8 Likes
I made wholesale change.
I do not miss those I do not see anymore…and those who chose to stay connected with me have made change in their lives.
Be well as you work this out…wishing you the best.
5 Likes
At the point I realized that a relapse is part of the addiction I’m way stronger in my sobriety than ever before. It’s a way of thinking as described before.
3 Likes
Do the drugs, don’t let the drugs do you is something I used to try to live by. I got high with many people who said that.
Many of those people are in an early grave. Better them than me.
Don’t let it happen to you.
Keep fighting! Glad your here!
6 Likes
It is possible to use twisted logic and convoluted thoughts to rationalise alcohol and drug use. I think you need to turn that thinking around. I wrote two lists, one what I wanted my life to be like, and what my life with alcohol was like. And really grasped the difference between the two. And how drinking was the wall between the life I had and the life I wanted.
4 Likes
Listening to your thinking says a lot,
We want to believe in one thing That we can use drugs or drink alcohol without consequences. Once we get a little bit of time under our belts it’s this time will be different i proved I can go without.
I’m almost 2 years sober and I still get those thoughts, but I remember what it was like, fhe hangovers, the withdrawals, how shitty coming down felt, how much money I wasted on poisoning myself.
Then I remind myself of all the great things I accomplished since getting sober how I took that money I was poisoning myself with, and put it to good use, I been on adventures I have enough musical instruments that I could buy a car with, and I’m not done.
My biggest problem when I got sober wasn’t staying sober. It was thinking that I could use or drink safely, and then hear people tell me how it gets better, I’m like when! I want a solid timeline here. Truth is the timeline is yours. It does get easier it does get better you got to put in some work, but the results are amazing. And timeline isn’t done yet
6 Likes
One of the best things I’ve read on TS is, “Be selfish with your sobriety.” I don’t remember who said it, but it changed the way I looked it. My sobriety is a precious thing. It took a lot of care and attention, and I don’t want to toss that away any more. Be kind to yourself.
4 Likes
Not for everyone but for me relapsing was a part of the process. I had a horribly shameful night and then a few nights of drinking more than I wanted to after I had promised myself I’d stop. The relapses weren’t devastating to my life or circumstances but realizing that my usage would build until I had a shameful night again was an eye opener. Taking that first drink out of equation has made all the difference. I wish you well. Keep trying. 
4 Likes
I went to my first meeting i knew i was home i had the desire and was willing to make the effort and change my mindset .i took what was on offer with a zest for living sober ,my sponsor told me i didnt know anything so just sit and listen and maybe one day youl get a wee bit wiser lol
i did all these things and the 12 steps and he was right got a wee bit wiser and my life changed for the better for me relapse happens sometimes when we havnt got any defence against the first drink ,have to make sure we have a way to combat this for me it was the program sponsor and fellowship , and its worked for me 35 years 8 months , not bad for this nohoper as the doctor said when they put on my new jacket that tide at the back lol
8 Likes
It felt like family
3 Likes
I keep relapsing too. I pay my important bills and reward myself with a sack . I tell myself I can still function. I keep resetting my sober click with a new resolve. However , I don’t GI to meetings everyday. I don’t have a sponsor. I’m not working the steps. These things are vital in maintaining sobriety. You have to saturate your recovery. As much effort we put into using must be applied in staying clean. I know if I followed this behavior I wouldn’t relapse or be very less likely. I’ve got to try harder. YOU have got to try harder .
6 Likes
Hearing this phrase is a first for me and I love it so much. Well said. Keep going.
3 Likes
I’ve had a lot of relapses myself. The longest time I’ve been clean is 5 years now. My older brother has got a sweet little girl and during the pregnancy he worked to get out of his abuse and it went well, but a month ago we lost our grandfather and shortly after he had a relapse and lost his job. And to be honest, I got pretty angry. Because he’s got a little miracle in his arms, and if it can’t keep him from drugs, what can?
Amen! I filled my life with sober things. Meetings, reading…sober activities. I made it so I didnt have time to drink…that changed from not having time to drink…to not wanting to drink
Facts I think I’m the same
Thanks so much and congrats
1 Like