Hi all, I am 12 days into being sober. I stopped for a couple of years before using Antabuse along with addiction counselling.
Became brave when someone suggested I could socially drink after 2 years, and nope i Couldn’t control it.
I have battled CPTSD for many years mainly stemming from my job as a cop in uk. Drinking was my way of blotting out everything, Ive known for a few years now that I will never be able to have a relationship of any sort with alcohol anymore, but recently entering my 50s just decided I had to stop.
Ive taken the Antabuse route again as having made the mistake of eating some chicken sauce that had traces of alcohol last time I was on Antabuse and feeling like I was dying I know its the only sure way for me to get a decent way into sobriety before I work out how to maintain it long term.
I live for my family, I have a disabled son who isolises me, but day to day is very challenging. Suppose we all have our stories and reasons we used to justify alcohol. Nows the time though I need to save what health I have for the future and after reading a really good book accept that Alcoholism for me is a disease.
Have ditched or been ditched by any friends I had (all from work) who thought I was going mad when my ptsd kicked in.
Hoping that i can draw on support and maybe give some to others along this journey.
Welcome Gaz you are in the right place, dealing with all those struggles is very hard being a former police officer with ptsd and having a disabled family member both put you at very high risk for our disease.
I am not a police officer (your ptsd undoubtedly worse) but a former hospice nurse who’s ptsd led to drug use. Clean 83 days now and this forum has been a huge help.
It’s important for you to know you’re not alone, I hope in the UK as over here there are organizations that help first responders with ptsd don’t know if you have looked into it.
Would love to chat anytime or post here
Kat
HI Thanks for the reply, one thing ive accepted is ptsd is a bastard whatever you have seen. Someone replying who gets is has put a little smile on my face lol.
Suppose its nice nor to have to try and hide my faults. Im unfortunately still in police, too much of a mess now to be public facing, what a relief. Can’t wait until i get to your number of days. Yes be nice to have some mates on here
Welcome Gaz!
Welcome @Gaz1016 and congrats on 12 days.
I have a disabled daughter so I can relate with drinking to deal with the daily challenges. The people on this forum have helped me tremendously to learn how to cope without substances and I’m sure you’ll have the same experience.
Welcome to the forum. This forum will give you what you put into it. It’s a good tool where you can find support, meet people, and find information that can help you on your journey. Congratulations on your 12 days, and also in learning that one drink–no matter how socially it’s taken–is one too many.
Like you and @kat261, I have dealt with PTSD, though mine is not from public service but rather from trama, some of which stemming from my earliest memories. It is something I have worked with intensely over the years because you can only try to numb it out for so long, and God knows that none of the “medicine” I’ve been given for it has ever helped.
I hope you will keep this forum in your sobriety tool box. There is a daily check in thread that a lot of people find helpful.
I wish you the best in your journey.
Maybe try a meeting might help wish you well Gaz
Congrats on 12 days! I’m fairly new here too, On day 11 of sobriety. I’ve found this forum very helpful and very supportive!