I’ve been here a long time and had my struggles… I have a bachelor party in a few weeks and a wedding in August but more importantly, I’m having a son in September. I’m good at not drinking during the week, I’m more of a weekend warrior. Friday and Saturday nights I usually have beers at home. I know I have to stop, I want to be sober for my son. I know my friends have to change etc but more so, I know I’m my own worst enemy.
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Keep repeating that… “FOR MY SON”. Being a sober parents is one of the most important things you can do. I’ve missed out on so much of my kids lives because I was drunk. I don’t remember movie nights or cookouts… because I was drunk. Trust me, you’ll want to soak up every bit of your son… sober.
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Hi Jim 
Good to hear from you. Sounds like this is a big year for you!
You may be aware of the FAQs already but I am linking to them just in case as it is such a good list of really useful posts. I have them bookmarked.
What have you tried before? What might you be able to try to do differently this time?
Keep checking in and reach out whenever you need to.
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Exepting you have a problem is a big step, so congratulations with that!! 
And now what are you planning to do about it? It sound stupid, but just stop is easy thinking.
So my tip is: make a plan. What are you doing when cravings kick in? What are you doing when your friends ask you to have a pint?
Think about the bachelor party, do you really need to go?
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Maybe try a meeting they help wish you well
I will come up with a plan. The bachelor party is in new Orleans and yes I have to go as I’m the best man. I thought about hanging it up after the party… There is one other sober person going he has had his slip ups but has been sober since March so that would be a help.
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Glad to see you back man
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Welcome back and I am glad you are still working on your sobriety. Congratulations on your upcoming baby, that is definitely a good incentive. I wish every parent could from the start be sober, what a gift for the family.
For your New Orleans trip, why don’t you look up where an AA meeting is close to your hotel and hit one or two with the other sober guy. Maybe talk to him about the plan. Honestly, for me, I wouldn’t go, my sobriety is more important than a bachelor party which is, face it, just to get wasted at. I would talk seriously with your friend and let him know you are working on sobriety and this trip is not feeling like a positive place for you. You can do all the Best Man duties required outside of the bachelor party, but you need a break from that. If he is your friend, he will understand. Your sobriety…YOU…are WAY more important than any party.
If your mind is set you are going, then perhaps you can reframe your participation as you being the sober one who will keep the rest from getting pick pocketed or whatever. We were in New Orleans in May for Jazz Fest, it is definitely possible to do NOLA sober. Head to bed earlier, you don’t need to hang around once everyone devolves into stupid drunk as some tend to do there.
Remember …in this case and always…the choice is yours. If you ‘must’ go, drink lots of soda or water, eat all that great food and enjoy the music!! It is even more fun sober.
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Tons of good eating in New Orleans. Check out Frenchmen street and try and stay away from bourbon St. There’s a lot of touristy things to do while sober.
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Sounds like the plan needs to address how to stay sober this weekend, how to stay sober today.
While a specific plan may help you through the event, it is likely to fall apart after, or maybe even before.
For me, “sober” starts when I wake up each morning. Every morning. A few simple actions set my mind on the right channel for the day. It’s an individual thing, of course, and you will find advice and tips all over the place here.
Question - what would happen if you didn’t go to New Orleans? And what would happen next? Do you know for certain that drinking is a crap shoot for you each time, that you cannot predict what you might do?
Something to ponder this fine sober Sunday.
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The most motivating thing I have ever been told is, “If you play your cards right, your kids will never remember you as a drunk.”
Fourteen months later, I am still sober - and still working to stay sober each day. For me, that means checking in here daily, regularly attending AA, and doing what I can to help other alcoholics.
For me, each morning starts with my intention and resolve. “I will not drink today, no matter what.”
I had to be the “best woman” at a wedding when I was around 60 days sober - and it was HARD. These are the things that helped me.
I wrote a letter to myself, listing many of the horrible choices I made while drinking and talking about how much I hated myself and my life while drinking. I kept it in my purse and read it several times throughout wedding weekend.
I told the groom in advance that I had quit drinking. He was very supportive, and I knew going in that there would be no pressure there.
He also knew that, if things got really hard, I would quietly slip out to get some air, reach out here on the forum (which I did about every 20 minutes), or call my sponsor.
I kept a drink in my hand at all times. Soda and lime is a good go to. At the wedding events, I quietly told the bartender I wasn’t drinking for accountability.
I made sure that I drove seperately so that I could bail if things got super hard.
My suggestion is to stick with sober guy like glue - and tell him why. You can support each other.
And please - reach out for help. I spent hours on the forum each night when I stopped drinking, and it was such a lifeline. Now I have a family here who I love and to whom I am accountable.
You don’t have to do this alone.
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Wow man! Welcome back. It’s been awhile.
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Does your son need you to go to the bachelor party? If it isnt your wedding, does your son need you to go to the wedding reception?
When I got sober, I had to change people, places and things. Anything dealing with alcohol was gone.
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NOLA was great. Frenchmen St was the best, the food was TOP NOTCH! However, I slipped up. I AM forming a sober task force for the wedding as I found out alot of people are going dry and/or sober. I realize it’s a marathon not a sprint. 2 days in now. I have to take it day by day, I’m not missing anything by being wasted, it’s just a waste. Thank you ALL for the responses and encouragement. Also, for being here to show me there’s more to life then getting drunk. After all, my son is coming in 8 SHORT weeks. I want to be around and be the best role model for him that I can.
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