I’m not sure if anyone can offer advice or assistance, but my brain will not quiet. I’ve only got one day clean (I know, not much) but over the last 5 years I didn’t think it would ever happen. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I want to return to a sober life. I just don’t know how to, or remember how to. Using was my crutch, and my comfort. I feel like I am loosing a part of myself. Just not sure how to go about this, and how to quiet that voice in my mind that’s trying to draw me back.
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Welcome to your sobriety and welcome to Talking Sober Rachel Lynn! You got one day already, which is awesome. No joke and no exaggeration. Going form 0 to 1 days is the biggest step you can make by far, infinitely bigger than every next day we do. And that’s all you have to do. One day at a time. No using today. I know it ain’t easy in the early days. We’ve all been there.
For me there are three pillars of sobriety. The first one is the right mindset. I will not use today. The right mindset is acquired by gaining knowledge. There’s plenty of that around on this forum and elsewhere on the web. You could try this link for starters, and take it from there:
And thirdly we can’t do it alone. We need people around us to support us, and to give support to. Alone it’s all too much. Together we can do this. You came to the right place to do just that. Welcome again. Wishing you all success in your journey towards a better life.
PS. Direct advice: Keep your mind busy with other stuff beside thoughts of using. Like reading and talking here. And yes, you might lose a part of yourself. The addicted part. The bad part. That’s good. We need to change to live better lives. Success.
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Thank you very much, I don’t often feel comfortable in meetings when I’ve gone in the past… and I downloaded about 6 different apps until I found this one that seems like it may work for me. I really do appreciate your advice and kind words, more than you will every know. I’ve spent most of the day crying and my physical and mental energy is non existent. So again, thank you. I will definitely read and look into those links.
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Its tough when we first start on our recovery, i comend you for taking that first step. Being apart of this wonderful community helps alot of us dealing with the struggles we face reaching out asking for help, people to talk to or just journaling down the thoughts has helped me in my early recovery. Reading alot here and literature about addiction and learning about different treatments is good too. You tube is always a great place to find meditation or soothing tranquil sounds to help clear the mind. Try some grounding techniques or breathing exercises. Just have to do your best not get stuck inside your head alone, plenty of people out here that can help. Wish you well in your sobriety, we’re here if we can help you in any way.
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Real life meetings aren’t my cup of tea either which I guess is mostly down to my personality. This place suits and fits me like my favourite sweatshirt. Hope it will be similar for you. See you around!
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Shut the voice down instantly. Like hard no. Do not let it debate or begin an explanation or try to convince you, just shut it down. “No” is the answer and that is the end of it. Do not let it get a foot in the door.
It will come back and back like a yapping dog - annoying you, trying to get it’s way, but over time it will become weaker and you will become stronger against it.
You are in a very difficult phase because you’re at the start and the voice is loud and persistent. But it is only you that will carry out the act of using, a voice cannot make you use.
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Thank you all for your words of advice. I called around to a few therapists in hopes maybe someone with experience in addiction could be useful, and one flat out told me “You will relapse” which threw me through a loop and made it quite discouraging. I hope I am not much of a bother to all of you if I need to reach out often. I will be reading everything and anything I can on here to help.
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Never feel bothered to ask for help! I’m not in a 12 step program but one of the things I did pick up from them is that giving support to my fellows is at least as helpful as receiving it. I feel this is true. So you’d be doing us a service by asking for support here 
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We’ve all been there and know its not easy, your not a burden to anyone here just know that if you need to we’re here someone always around dont be afraid to ask for help or thinking your a bother to any of us. We just want you to be able to make it out from the grips of your addiction. We know you can and we will help any way possible.
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That makes me a feel a lot better. I cannot say thank you enough. I feel I can actually go to sleep tonight, with a sense of hope.
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Thank you, so very much. I’ve had to hide this part of me for so many years, and it’s a big weight off my shoulders to be able to discuss it freely.
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It does get exhausting but you dont need to hide it anymore, like someone was saying our secrets keep us sick. Past trauma or maybe our present state can be a bit tricky to figure out at first
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Ouch, such a statement is little help. Sorry you had to experience such a situation. Keep on your path and stick to sobriety. It’s worth it.
The experience I can share is sleep sleep sleep as much as you can. Taking vitamin and mineral supplement helps me a lot, not only in recovery but in general as I tend to lack vitamin D and selen.
To stop that nagging voice there are some good threads around with plenty of shares. Maybe read around and find approaches that fit for you and your situation.
What helps me too is distract myself: a bath, walking around the block, doing chores (cleaning is always helpful because I see results in little time and as bonus I have a cleaned space somewhere in the house - what or where is unimportant)
Keep us posted and remember: one day at a time and sometimes a minute at a time 
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We live our lives one breath at a time, dont let that sapp who told you you’d fail deter you from the path you want to take. Stick around here and we’ll tell you, you can make it and sober is the way to do it. We are all here behind you just dont let anyone program you with that negative talk. 
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For me, when that voice tells me to drink I automatically tell it no. I interrupt the voice and even say out loud “No that’s actually not what I want!” It sounds looney lol but for me the verbalizing out loud has made a big difference. And I know that if it’s an automatic thought, then it might be the Addiction Brain talking because my normal thoughts are calm and positive. My normal thoughts don’t tell me I’m a loser or that I can’t handle this or that I deserve a drink because the day was hard, that’s all the Addiction Brain!
It takes practice, and it’s really hard. Even this evening I had the thought of pouring a glass of wine, and I had to consciously push that thought away. I came on here and have spent the evening snuggling with my dogs/cat and reading posts. Don’t get down on yourself, just keep ignoring that voice and eventually it will get quiet! 
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Keep the faith and reach out. Meetings people that are good for you.