Need accountability so I'm posting

Hello. My issue is alcohol. Never had a problem drinking beer here and there growing up but liquor changed my life 3 years ago; vodka in particular. I got a divorce 3 years ago and will be turning 45 this month. I have a wonderful 15 year old daughter. I met someone who introduced me to liquor and we’ve had a ‘complicated’ relationship (if you can even call it that) and that ended today. I would get so frustrated with his situation (separated from wife but just wont get a divorce) that I would drink and try to end things with him. I’m just not my best person when drinking liquor, but it’s been somewhat of a comfort/companion/escape for me. I hide it. My daughter doesnt know I drink and she’s busy with school and friends and not home a lot of the time. I’m home alone with my 2 dogs. I also work from home. I’m an introvert so I dont care to have a huge circle of friends. But i know i need to STOP drinking. I say/text things out of character from frustration and I just know its poison. I can get to day 3 alcohol free and feel so great and the urge to go get a bottle is overwhelming. No more though. I’ve done so much reading on this app which has been amazing. I joined a Saturday Zoom AA meeting which was great. I listen to Recovery Elevator podcasts and bought the audiobook Alcohol is Shit. I bought a weight bench and hiking gear and have been exercising more. I just feel I need accountability to help in this process, so that’s why I’m going to commit to posting and getting more involved with this community. Thanks for listening. Oh, and I’m on Day 1. I’m tired of resetting the counter!!!

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Great share man.

I am very glad you’re here

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Welcome!!! So glad you made the best decision :heart::heart::heart: lots here to help you get through the struggles. Hugs!!:hugs:

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Thank you both! I’ve been in such an unhealthy relationship so getting out of that (although not easy) will also help. I dont know why I wasted the time on it in the first place. Live and learn. I’m getting older, I need to get wiser! Lol

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Welcome to the Talking Sober community! You sound very determined and I’m sure you’ll accomplish your goal to be alcohol free. Free of that ball and chain, that addictive poison that destroys lives and families. Think about how wonderful it’s going to be to wake up every single morning hangover free from now on. Even though I’ve been AF for months I still lay there in bed in the mornings and smile about how great it feels to not wake up in a panic about what I might have done the night before, to not feel embarrassed or guilty about anything, to not be angry at myself for letting a substance tell me what to do. So congratulations on taking charge! Come back often and give us updates. We love updates. :slightly_smiling_face:

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You hit the nail on the head! Waking up in that panic when you immediately try and recall what you did or said/texted the night before. The anxiety that sets in after a terrible night’s sleep. NO THANK YOU!! And NO MORE!! Thanks for the support. I really think becoming more engaged in this community will really help me stay on the right track!

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I love that you’re getting out of your comfort zone. I’m such an introvert too and been doing the zoom meetings. They’ve actually helped me get more comfortable with talking to others sober. You should keep coming. In time, maybe you’ll want to turn the camera on and talk with us. You certainly don’t have to. There’s some awesome peolpe on this forum that I now call friends. When I first joined, I never imagined I’d meet people from all over the world. I hope you have the same experience.

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Thank you, fellow introvert! :slight_smile: I definitely want to get to the point where I turn my camera on and join in the conversation. That was the first meeting I have ever attended so I just kind of wanted to listen. I really enjoyed it. I need more social interaction and being able to talk with people all over the globe is pretty amazing!

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Thank you! So glad you mentioned the Strava thread, I do use that app. I’ve recently started rucking and got some new gear so hiking tomorrow with my ruckpack carrying 20lbs will be a first for me. I really feel like some alone hiking time will do wonders. Have a great weekend!

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Hi, I can totally relate to the introvert thing… I live by myself, I work out of my home (by myself), and I have no family here in Europe, since I’m originally from Canada. My issue isn’t hard liquor, but rather “just” wine. Now, the fact that I could easily polish off a couple of bottle over the course of an afternoon / evening is the problem… along with alcohol-related health problems that are starting to appear ! So, I’m back on this forum, and into my third day for the first time in a long time.
You’ll find that posting here really does help… With the help of this forum, I was clean and sober for four months, before I stopped posting, and promptly went back to old bad habits.
I read in a book that going without alcohol is not DEPRIVING yourself of anything, but rather FREEING yourself from the talons of an industry and society that have been lying to us all.
You can do it, we all can.

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Hi lady 🙋
Nice to meet you!
I’m Claudia and addicted to alcohol too.
This app was a huge part of my recovery. Almost 2 years sober now. I’m 52 years old by the way.
I will share you what has helped me so far.
Maybe you see something you can use for your own recovery.
Take care! :heart:

Here are the things that helped me so far:

  • No alcohol in my house
  • Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
  • Telling my spouse about my sober plan
  • Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
  • Having a day counter
  • Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
  • Taking a strong vitamine B complex
  • Taking melatonin to help me sleep
  • Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
  • Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
  • When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
  • Ask for help when I need it.
  • Be here every day to read and check in sober.
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Thanks for sharing.
You sound like you are ready to take on the world.
Crack on. We’ve all got your back.
Well done.

It won’t be easy but the benifits outweigh the bad. And it seems like you are already on the right path. Few week under your belt and you will see the difference even if its just waking up with no stinking hangover. You just need to re program your brain after years of drinking. There is so much better out there than drinking. It’s just its so baked into culture its hard to get away from. Stick to the plan and you will be fine. Think before you drink :wink:

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Welcome to the community :heart: where there is alot of suppourt alot of community LOVE and friendships :pray:t3: god bless :pray:t3:

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Hi from a fellow female introvert… and I know all about that panicked what did I text or say feeling. I was a home based blackout drinker after my kids slept. 44. Feel free to reach out anytime. This is a great community

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Thank you for the support, and I love that quote. Soooo true. Well, I woke up feeling great this morning like I knew I would. Now on to Day 2! :blush: I already feel so much more confident and determined being actively engaged in this forum.

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The saying/texting things out of character is spot on! The amount of relief just associated with that is an amazing weight to lift. Good job and great share. Thank you for that. Congratulations on day 1 :slightly_smiling_face:

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Your story is similar to mine. My daughter would head out with friends around 5pm which left me alone to drink in the evening. She always had a ride home and I would just go to sleep (pass out). Thank you for your support!

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Thanks so much! Time to break this viscious cycle I’ve been in for 3 years. Soooo looking forward to getting my life on track. Onward to Day 2!

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Welcome!!! You sound determined and that is a great thing!! I found in the early days that reading as much as possible (here and sober memoirs) really helped my mind and to educate myself on ‘getting sober’. This thread has a so many helpful links to threads …give it a look if you like…I think there are some real gems in here…

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