Hey all. New here and just checking in to say hello.I’m a writer and a mom and have a weird relationship with alcohol and spending - both increase when I’m stressed and both are bad for me in different ways. Pretty good at stopping drinking but always find a reason to start again. not a super heavy drinker but enough to know I need to cut it. Hey, big question though, is anyone here not doing AA? I am not keen on that program.
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Welcome @Beckyboo to the forum. There are people here who have used many different paths to achieve sobriety. I personally did not attend any programs, not really by choice is just a time thing for me. I used mainly this site, sobriety podcasts, audiobooks that sort of thing. Anyway, there is a ton of info and all sorts of great people here. Feel free to ask questions and have a look around. I think you’ll find the link below useful. Best wishes
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Welcome to TS, it’s a wonderful community and offers all kind of programs. Recovery Dharma, SMART, all type of anonymous groups and many more.
Congratulations of your decision to living life without a drug. 
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One thing I like about AA is that the literature points out that AA does not have a monopoly on sobriety. And there is no prescribed way to do the program.
Here is a whole bunch of ideas and tools for getting sober and staying that way. Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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Welcome Becky. I’m pretty new here too but have seen lots of different types of recovery here. Stick around, read, join in. There’s a wealth of knowledge through experience around here, I’ve read no end of helpful posts here from users sharing their personal experiences, advice and support. I wish you the best of luck in your sobriety! 
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Welcome! there are many paths to sobriety…I hope you find one that works for you… I drank for 50 years tried many many programs and found AA though most uncomfortable for me, if followed forced me to face myself through brutal honesty and surrender truly saved my life after my last black out waking up in the emergency room fighting for my life saturated in the poison of alcohol. i am now 3 years and 8 months sober and realize I can only survive one day at a time, now with many ‘arrows’ in my quiver to beat back the beast…. I have lost 160 lbs, liver clean and healthy, and blood pressure averaging 115/60 :).
I hope you find healing, healthy and support here with us…
WE DO THIS TOGETHER 
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Hi Becky!! Welcome!! Yes, there are people here who don’t do a formal program (like me), tho I have read about a lot of them and learned a lot from them as well. I drank for 40+ years, lots of drugs in that time as well. I was 56 when I got sober, 6+ years ago.
I believe we all need to find what works best for us as individuals. I utilized a lot of resources as well in my journey. This is a lengthy response, but I wanted to share some of what helped me along the way, maybe some of it can be of use to you…
Community
I started my journey years ago and there were fewer ‘sober curious’ resources, but these ones were in place. I took a lot from each place…
Reddit r/stopdrinking
Women for Sobriety (WFS)
Soberistas
She Recovers
Talking Sober (here!)
After spending time on various forums and sites, I found being active here, even if just reading a lot, was really helpful for me. I am on here daily and that helps me be a part of a community and gain strength, wisdom and experience from others.
Movement
Moving my body in the ways that worked best for me - helping to release and move emotions (old and new) out - bicycle riding, HIIT fitness classes, hatha yoga, walking, running, hiking - finding the movement that works for you and your specific body. Emotions and past experiences can get stuck inside - getting them out frees up space and spaciousness within…lessens our load. 
Being present
Calming my mind thru yin yoga, mindfulness and meditation - reading Pema Chodron, Sharon Salzberg, Thich Nhat Hahn. Helping to quiet the anxious mind that alcohol was numbing. Being present with my emotions and allowing them space to flow thru me, versus escaping/numbing them with alcohol.
Especially important to me has been keeping my focus on today…this moment. Not drinking in this moment. I don’t have to worry about tomorrow, that wedding in 3 months or forever. I just have to be here in this moment and not drink.
Restore
Resting my body and brain thru sleep - including putting myself to bed early and often in the early days of sobriety. Listening to sleep meditations and yoga nidra (Insight Timer, YouTube). Allowing my body time to regenerate and restore and gain strength.
Nourish
Drinking a ton of water and LaCroix to clear my cells. Eating a lot of sweets in early days to comfort and then after a year and a half, releasing added sugar and processed carbs from my diet. This helped me feel clearer and stronger.
Soothe
Lots of journaling - releasing emotions and thoughts, worries and anxieties as much as possible by putting pen to paper (versus numbing). Knitting, gardening and baking have also been helpful in soothing myself…all are meditative. There are so many more interesting and fascinating hobbies that people share about on here.
I find that same release writing here (thus the lengthy post). 
Hot epsom baths or soaking in the hot tub (especially helpful when anxious)
Educate
Reading and rereading a LOT of sober memoirs/novels (see my list here… What kinds of books do you like or recommend? - #4 by Sassyrocks )
All the reading helped me reframe my feelings on alcohol and its part in my life. It allowed me to learn from others experiences and to know I am not alone or weird for how I feel or the experiences I have had.
Commit
I found it really helpful to not keep any wine in the house (wine being a huge trigger for me at the end of my lengthy drinking career). This was non negotiable.
I avoided activities and get togethers that would involve alcohol in early days/weeks/months so that I could nurture my sobriety and gain some sober muscles.
One of the things most helpful to me in early days was keeping a list of how I want to live my life/what sobriety offers…I kept it on my phone and when I started thinking, hey, maybe just one glass of wine, I read my list and remembered how desperate and unhappy drinking made me. Here is some of that list…
- No hangovers ever!!
- Treating my husband with respect and no drunk fighting
- Self respect gets a major boost
- No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop
- Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!!
- Major pride in myself and all that I have and can accomplish
- A sense of peace and calm
- No more embarrassment and shame because of my behavior
- Forgiving myself for past mistakes and terrible judgement
- No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk
- No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk
- No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail
- No upset stomach from drinking
- No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover
- No dark suicidal thoughts
- No blackouts ever
- No overwhelming shame at my behavior
- No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel
- Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls
- Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard
- Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem
- No hangovers ever again
- No more excuses or lies
So glad you are here and examining your relationship with alcohol. I know it can seem daunting, but working towards a healthier and happier you is such an empowering thing. Change can happen. Believe in yourself.
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Welcome. There are plenty of those who havent done AA. I did for the first 4 years of my Sobriety. I found Recovery Dharma and that is the recovery program I do.
One thing you will find in commone with those in and out of recovery programs. On here, those that are active on the forum tend to have solid sobriety under their belt
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I’m not in AA. Gotta find what works for you. Glad you’re here!
Welcome to the community Becky
I am actively present on this forum and find it to be my main source of support along with my family.
Did attend an AA meeting and may go back but for now I’m stacking on the days with help from the Talking Sober community.
You are not alone here- we got your back🫂
I had to have an intermission for that read but it’s a good read
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Sometimes we are in a space for a long read, other times, not so much. Putting it all in one place helps me remember my journey, how raw and impossible it was in the beginning, what I tried, what didn’t help, what did help and especially why I chose sobriety for myself. 
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