This is my first day on the app, it seems like it will be a great resource and outlet for me. I’ve been struggling with my binge drinking for years. I smoked a decent amount of weed through my senior year of high school and when I was 19 and got in to a relationship where they weren’t comfortable with smoking I quickly turned to drinking. I drink to get drunk, period. My thoughts are constantly filled with the thought of alcohol, when my next drink will be, and how I’m going to buy more without it being noticeable. For some reason I can’t handle the thought of ending a day/going to bed sober. I don’t know why that is or what exactly I’m afraid of. I have a beautiful fiancé who loves me but I can tell drunken nights of me passing out and/or getting up in the middle of the night is getting old. Not only that, I’m getting tired of my own bs. I want to be the person I know is within me, I just don’t allow that because I mask her with the alcoholic I’ve become. I’m ready to consider this more seriously, and enter a state of self discovery and regain my self love and confidence. I just will need a little support from those who may understand a little better. Thank you for those who read, I hope to make some good connections. I am also here for support for anyone who needs it.
Welcome Hope.
It’s been so freeing for me to not have to plan my life around my next drink. I’m very grateful I found this app. Speaking of grateful. My gratitude practice has been my strongest tool in sobriety. I got so much to be grateful for when I’m sober. As long as I don’t take that first drink, I’m good.
That is comforting to hear and exactly the place I look forward to getting to. Thank you for taking the time to read and give a thought through response. I will definitely look in to that forum @Dazercat
Welcome to the forum. The people in this forum are vastly diverse in a lot of ways, but the one thing we all have in common is knowing what it is like to go through addiction, and the struggle to be free. We are all at different places on our own journies, but for the most part many people here want to help others as well as helping themselves.
If you ask for the support here, you will get it. One thing I would like to suggest to you is to take some time and suss out what kind of support you need and want. Even if it seems silly and your first reaction is to push it away. We addicts often turn to drugs/alcohol/other behaviors partially because we aren’t getting something in our lives that we need. We often don’t even know what that is. There can be a lot of pain, and much healing to be done. Being able to really identify how you best feel supported will help you actually get it. If it remains that vague word “support”, then there is a chance that you don’t get what you need, even if others are offering support in the ways they understand/know how. If that happens, then you could feel sad, disappointed, lonely, etc., but not really know why.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to people here. Take part in some of the fun “non addict” threads that interest you, which will help you create a bond with some of the people here. You now have a whole group of possible friends in your pocket. As for your fiance, try to figure out how they can support you. What exactly can they do to be there for you, to help you become a better person in order to strengthen your relationship? Your fiance loves you, I’m sure, and if you are open and honest about these things, and present real things they can do to support you on that side of the screen, you have the possibility of even more support, even if they have never had addiction issues.
Once again, welcome! I hope you will use this forum in a way that will be best for your success!
