Abstinence? That isnt what you circular thought is talking about. You are trying to prove your behavior is ok. Again, you do you. But, outside of a 12 step program, its still realized an addict cant have just 1. This isnt about you helping others, its about you justifying your behavior
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This is not a forum to teach people how to drink safely. It never will be. Get over it.
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Itâs talking sober, not talking moderation.
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Iâm saying this in a friendly way⌠Iâm not sure what youâre hoping to achieve here? This forum is full of people offering encouragement, support and advice for people who have relapsed and relapse frequently. There is the occasional dose of tough love, always from a place of love. If thatâs what youâre advocating then it is already happening. Edit: there is also a seeking help group for those who are actively using.
As this is an abstinence forum of course the main message is always going to be to encourage people to abstain. This point has been made many times. If you donât think thats the right message then that is fair enough, but you must see that constantly suggesting it shouldnât be the message is only likely to stir the pot and get peopleâs backs up? It also then looks kind of like you are stirring the pot intentionally.
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One argument against the DSM 5 categorizarion of Alcohol use disorder is that depending on the indiviudal, and where they are at, the diagnosis could actually change. Therefore, a mild diagnosis could be fundamentally flawed. The person could actually be in the severe category, but because of current life circumstances they âtestâ as mild.
So are you comfortable, giving out adviceâŚwhen licensed professionals are currently debating the DSM 5?
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Hey @Janine_King your thread has gone a bit off topic 
How are you getting on? I donât know if youâve seen the FAQ thread on here but it has lots of links to common questions and some good topics and suggestions that might help you.
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AA has never said I was powerless. Quite the opposite actually.
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Instead of knocking other programs of recovery why donât you try talking about what works for you? I think you said you do counseling right? How often? Is it someone familiar with addiction?
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Ok but you did say this:
And Iâm just saying I donât think itâs unreasonable to expect that isnât the advice thatâs going to be given out on a sobriety forum. There is a group on here for active users called seeking help though so again some of what youâre advocating is kind of already here to the extent it will be.
Also there are lots of folk here who donât use AA. But it clearly works well for a lot of people and itâs understandable that they are passionate about an approach that has worked for them. Stick around, keep checking in, search, read, you will get a feel for the place as time goes on and hopefully you will find it to be a good thing.
There have been many debates on the forum about the virtues or otherwise of AA and they often end up getting heated⌠Maybe as we are all here to support each other we could just accept that there are differences of opinion and if anyone REALLY feels like they want to look at old arguments they can use the search bar, Iâm not sure anything new is going to be said here.
To that end I will bow out gracefully and wish everyone a nice evening 
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IdkâŚI donât do AA⌠and Iâve gotten nothing but support on here (even from the most pro-AA people on this forum) itâs just love, honesty and support on here all day everyday⌠and it has saved my life. And in my opinionâŚthe answer to why is simple. No one on here gives a fuck HOW you stay soberâŚhell, they donât care if you relapseâŚthe ONLY requirement for being on this forum is WANTING to be sober andâŚhaving the agenda of being sober. If youâre agenda, if your focus, is to want a sober life for yourself, then people on here will help you with any advice they have on the subject. What people donât like is an agenda other than sobrietyâŚso
Just my two cents butâŚ
I think thatâs where your âpush backâ is originating from.
Wishing you all the best in your fight.
Much Love,
Ely
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I think what heâs saying is that he thinks that there are varying degrees alcoholism, like a scale of 1 to 10; where 1 is moderation, and 10 is about as bad as you can get.
Heâs saying most people fall on the lower end of the scale where he believes its habitual, not an addiction (yet) and with some âre-educationâ one can slide left on the scale and end up at a 1⌠BUT
The thing he is not understanding is alcoholism, whether a disease or disorder (splitting hairs), it is progressive.
Not one of us started on the number of that scale we ended, and I know there is no possible way I can go backwards, I can only be a 0, outside the scale, sober. Even if I could go back to a 1 Iâd be back where I was eventually. Even if I could go back to a 1, I wouldnât want to.
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Listen to naked mind on kindle it helped me alot when nothing else did
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I drank alcoholicly the very first time I drank. I got hammered drunk. I chased that ever since.
There were times where I drank and didnât get blitzed, but it wasnât for a lack of wanting too.
I like the way @MoCatt put it. âOnce youâve become a pickle, you canât go back to being a cucumberâ
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Indeed! My first time was 6 warm cans of Schmidt that I swiped from my parents when I was 12 and made me sick as shit, and like you, chased that since.
Hi ya, Iâm doing fine again. I know l donât understand whatâs going on here but all l know is l was at my lowest last Thursday. I slipped up again and felt bad and ashamed. A lot has been on my mind and am suffering from anxiety. It is no reason to drink but that day it made me forget all the shit for a while. Now l dusted myself off and starting again. 4days in!!
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Get a sponsor you wonât understand the âbookâ by yourself⌠Point blank period⌠Thatâs the only way⌠U want to talk offline msg me
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Glad to hear youâre feeling better, well done for getting back to it! Hold on to those negative feelings associated with drinking, try and remember them next time you are tempted! Thatâs what I do anyway, drinking might make me forget stuff but it never solves my problems or makes me feel better once the fog has lifted.
Have you read any recovery books? I found This Naked Mind helpful for shifting my perception about alcohol. Allen Carr and Jason Vale have also written books which are often recommended.
Hope youâre getting some support for your anxiety⌠Donât know if youâve tried meditation? There is a thread on here with lots of links to YouTube which might be worth a go:
I do have a sponcer and we started going through the Book but l wasnât getting it. Maybe it was my mind wasnât really concentrating on it as too much other stuff on my mind. We got to step 4. Then l slipped up. Then l thought whatâs the point of all this. But l am back trying again.
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No not getting support for anxiety but l clearly have to as l know l have it. I do do yoga but havenât lately due to an operation l had. I did go for a run which made me feel better at the weekend.
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