Hi all, I’m only 26 days sober and so far it has been quite easy. Tonight is hard, I’m sad I’m not able to have a drink, I feel really uncomfortable and can’t stop thinking ‘one won’t hurt’… 20 years proves that it will!
Also my work Christmas party is tomorrow and I’ve already got the fear about it.
I haven’t told any friends I’m sober yet because I know they enjoy me being the one to get drunker than them, so I don’t have any support.
How do you deal with the urges and the FOMO?
I will not cave, I am so dedicated to staying sober, I just need some hacks!
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Welcome to the community! This thread has a ton of info you can read through that will answer your question without waiting for others to post 
The 4th link down might be the most useful
for you at the moment. You can also search for other threads using the “spyglass” looking symbol at the top.
Stick around, glad you’re here!
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I just had my work holiday party the other night and i had soda + lime and mocktails. lots of finger foods. i’m a little deeper into sobriety but it was no problem staying sober! i was the DD for myself and boyfriend. i had a great time! dont dwell on the not drinking, but keep your focus on how nice it’ll be to wake up without a hangover, not make an ass of yourself in front of colleagues, etc.
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Welcome! That first month was pretty hard. I wrote down all the negatives that alcohol brought to my life and kept referring back to my list. You couldn’t pay me enough to go to any events that involved drinking during early sobriety. I had to protect my sobriety at all costs. What kept me going was knowing there would be plenty of parties to attend when I got more time under my belt.
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Are you sure they won’t support you?
I was always the person in my group to get totally hammered while we were out, when I went sober they were a bit shocked but fully supportive in my decision and continue to be to this day
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I would recommend probably bowing out. So early in sobriety, temptations are strong. But if you have to, I would make it short, have a plan, and phone a sober friend. I feel like the anxiety of abstaining would outweigh the joy of a party at this stage of sobriety. You’re doing great so far with one month though 
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I can relate to how you feel about the X-mas party. Mine is taking place right now, and I decided to cancel last minute for the sake of my sobriety. Now I have a pissed off boss… his choice, not mine!
In my case instead of FOMO, I have JOMO (Joy of missing out!) 
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Welcome Jaymie! You don’t owe anyone any explanation as to what you drink or don’t drink. You also do not have to go anywhere that endangers your sobriety. You can simply say you aren’t feeling up to it and not go.
I’m 67 days sober and I’m simply choosing my sobriety over the holiday parties. Most of my friends and family would hand me booze even knowing I’m not drinking. They simply can’t believe I want to or need to get sober. They LOVE me drunk.
Do whatever you need to to protect your new sobriety. It’s tender and new, fragile even. Nurture it gently.
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Thanks sharing. I appreciate your honesty.
What I’m understanding is that a lot of importance is being placed on alcohol. This implies that alcohol offers something. That it has value. That it has benefit.
But I’m going to challenge that. Alcohol has no value. It offers me nothing. There is no benefit to drinking such poison. And this good buzzy feeling that it supposed to provide is an illusion; a relieving of the obsession and craving for alcohol that was caused by alcohol to begin with. And then leaves the body wanting more.
Having just one is crazy. Don’t desire it. You’re not missing out. Many of your friends probably wish they could stop for 26 days like you have. So a big congratulations to you!
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Thank you everyone! I really appreciate all of your replies and advice. Just reading them all kept me on track last night, and I feel more focused for the party tonight. I’m driving a few people there, already told a couple of people that I’m leaving early ( so I don’t have to wait until the end to take them home). I think the work event should be ok, knowing that I won’t have the hangxiety for work on Monday is getting me through!
I’ve also booked a movie early Sunday morning with my children, something I would never have been able to commit to if I was drinking as I would know I’d either have to leave to be sick throughout, of fall asleep!
I’m really great full for the support, and not usually one to post but so glad I did!
Thank you again x
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You’re right, I suppose I’m just not ready. In my head I feel like I need to get to at least 2 months before letting them know, hopefully at that point I’ll be stronger to have the conversations about ‘why’, although as most have them have been with me during most blackouts and hangovers I’m sure you’re right and they’ll be happy!
Thank you!
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JOMO! I love it! 
Exactly! When I first let it be known what I was doing there wasnt a conversation about it either. We were all hanging out one night, they all had some drinks on the go and I sat down with a glass of pop, someone asked if I was getting a beer and I said something like “naw, decided I had to make a change and I quit drinking.” They all said they were happy for me and we went in with our night just chatting and laughing
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Why do we need holiday work parties? I’m busy a
And broke. This isnt work time people!
Stay home if you need to, man. That way you wont stress about it at all.
If you decide to go, remember that You dont need to be anyone’s drunk comparison, just be you. You dont have to drink, or explain yourself.
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