Hi all, this is my first post and my first official day sober. I have struggled with mental health for a long time and finally got back on track. However a few months ago I started falling into old habits when it comes to my drinking. I’m a functioning drunk which almost makes it harder because no one can tell when I am blacked out. I do not know how to stop drinking once I start. I have horrible hangovers that lead me to throw up all day after a night out. I ruin nights by forgetting memories that should have been fun and flirting for attention when I’m in a committed relationship. I also have suicidal thoughts when I drink that led to a very dark weekend for me after someone kissed me at the bar. A second time I have done this to my partner when he has been nothing but amazing. That’s not who I am and not who I want to be. My mother and multiple people in my family are alcoholics and I never thought I would be like them. But clearly I was wrong. At the age of 23 I am deciding to commit to sobriety. I hope one day I will learn how to limit my drinking but until that day I owe it to my partner, my friends, my family and myself to take this step. If anyone has advice please share. I know this is going to be a tough journey but I’m ready to take it. Also if there is anyone who is also young (20s) attempting sobriety from alcohol I would love to hear your experiences as well. Thank you all in advance!
I was listening to a very interesting podcast on below topic. It is much more comprehensive in reality during live therapy sessions than the below explanation, but it was eye opener to me, very impactful thing.
In psychology, IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. This is a therapeutic approach developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. IFS posits that the mind is made up of multiple sub-personalities or “parts,” each with its own unique perspective and qualities. These parts can include wounded parts that carry pain and trauma, as well as protective parts that try to manage or suppress these wounds¹².
The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals understand and harmonize these internal parts, leading to healing and mental balance. It emphasizes the importance of the “Self,” which is considered the core, compassionate, and confident part of an individual¹².
If you’re interested in learning more about how IFS therapy works or its applications, feel free to ask!
Good for you. That is such a mature decision. There are so many great resources here. We look forward to getting to know you better. Stay strong.
Great that you are taking these steps at a young age.
I quit drinking at 22, stayed off it for about 10 years. When I returned to drinking I thought it would be different but that isn’t how it works. We don’t learn to regulate our drinking, you can’t regulate addiction.
It’s a great time to learn who you are and to become who you want to be in a life without alcohol controlling you.
You will find lots of support on here.
Look forward to seeing your sober days growing in numbers.
There are young persons meeting about maybe seek one out wish u well
I wish I knew what I now know about AA meetings when I was 20. Long time ago. Like before cell phones. Just go to a meeting. You never have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just go to a meeting. Then go to another one. Just listen. Then keep going back. You don’t like it. I’ll refund your misery.
I was just so scared to go to AA meeting. I was afraid of what I didn’t know.
Here’s a good link of resources for recovery.
And there’s lots of great people here willing to help you on your journey.
Welcome to the wonderful world of sobriety. Congratulations on your first day. Looking forward to celebrating your day 2 with you.
Read the story of Sara, in this pamphlet (her story is in two parts, the first is “What We Were Like”, then the second is “What Happened” - that’s how she found healthy living as a sober, contented person). Her story has many parallels to yours:
There are many recovery pathways but they all start with asking for help. It sounds like you’ve decided you want to make a change. That is good! You can do it, one day at a time.
There are many groups that have Zoom meetings and in person meetings, where you can learn about getting sober and you can find guidance and mentorship. These groups include Women For Sobriety, AA, SMART Recovery, and others. There are people of all ages in this groups, and wherever you go, you will be welcomed and people will understand your struggle. Most of them have been in exactly your shoes. (It’s worth looking if there are any specifically youth meetings - sometimes there are - but regardless, the people are all there for the same reason: to get sober. BTW my group is about half and half people under 30 and over 30, so there’s a good amount of young people in recovery.)
You can find a list of recovery groups here. There is also lots of good podcasts and books:
Welcome to Talking Sober! 
to you.
What a mature and responsible thing to do. Getting sober is going to be the best thing you ever did. I am just a few days ahead of you and we can take this journey together.
Wishing you all the best and support. Iv stopped at 33. But god i wish i didnt wasted my 20s being a clever controlled drunk then to a messy and life altering drunk. Either version of me was an alcoholic and just thought i was better than that. l was arrogant! I also had rock bottom self esteem that led to messy choices and poor ones too, the alcohol i thought helped that but it just made my problems huge and self esteem plummet to contemplating suicide.
Your making sucha super decision and your find yourself so much sooner with the hard work mentally your putting in. All crossed for you🤞 here anytime x
How are you?
I’m okay today. Thank you so much for asking! Been very anxious the past two days and have not eaten much. But I did spend some time with family and feeling a bit like myself again tonight
Good to hear… Reach out if you are struggling.
Thank you so much for your kind words
Thank you so much for the comment! Your words mean a lot
I wish I would’ve stopped drinking at your age.
You’re doing such a beautiful thing for yourself 
You should be so proud.
Drinking only ever made my mental health issues and anxiety so much worse. Of course while drinking they’d disappear but abstinence is the ONLY way for me to properly care for my mind, body and soul.
Hangovers often led to thoughts of unaliving myself and I promise that they only get worse with age as the addiction only grows.
Sobriety is a beautiful path you’re embracing and I’m excited for you and the future version of you who will be happy you’ve made this choice!
Welcome to the club! 
Thank you so much for your advice and the resources!! Can’t explain how much the comment means to me, needed a good kick up the ass and I appreciate it!
Thank you so much Matt, I look forward to reading Sara’s story. I appreciate your advice on joining some type of group and plan to do so. I also love the podcast/books link, can’t wait to use those resources!
Great!
BTW there was a new thread a couple hours ago here, created by someone also in their 20s and getting sober from alcohol and looking for guidance and sober support friends - might be worth reaching out to introduce yourself
And I completely forgot about this thread but there’s a good mix of people in their 20s here: