Hi I’m sam. Currently going thru a rough patch and started drinking after being sober 4 months. My mind is all over the place, relationships are failing. Seems everytime something good comes in my life it has the potential to send me into a bender when it goes badly. Im scared of getting excited by anything good happening in my life coz it let’s me down and I don’t want to live like this. Im almost 40 and I have absolutely nobody to turn to. My girl cheated n left my job sucks and im finding it hard to choose and love my self. I don’t understand why its so mentally tough to be a good strong individual. Any advice will help thanks
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Welcome back…
Advice.. what did you do to stay sober previously? Do you have a plan to begin right now? Find a program.. so many available… I chose AA and 2 years sober.. if not AA there on so many others free online or in person.. Staying here and reading and posting is a terrific start..
Let us stay sober together today..
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I don’t have any advice, but what you said about being afraid of good things makes you worry about the inevitable bad to follow hit home. I’m starting today and trying to make it. Only thing I can say is that I might feel the same way, and it’s not just you. Good luck.
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I am so glad you have come back here!!! You were missed! 
I can understand the cognitive distortion of “why should I care about me if no one else does”. That thought led me to the hospital more than a few times!
I had to learn that I will always be let down if I grasp at my self-worth through external validation. Always. People are imperfect. We will fail something, somewhere in your life…we will fall short. But, that doesn’t negate our love and support for you.
What’s the best is knowing that you’re enough intrinsically. You’re enough because you’re enough. You are lovable, valuable, interesting, intelligent, worthy, etc. with or without other people.
Having this confidence will help you through life gather healthier people and experiences. Until then, we’re here to remind you.
You’re worthy of a healthy and sober life for you. You’re enough.
I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. Do you know of any healthy coping mechanisms?
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Hey Sam. I’m so sorry you’re going through it but really glad you came back here to check in. My only advice is that (at least for me) self-loathing THRIVES on alcohol. I drank to numb myself from having to experience "bad” feelings but everything felt worse when I was disgusted with myself and hung over.
You’ve already got the sober muscles. You don’t have to be sober forever, you just need to care for yourself today. ODAAT.
Hang in there, my friend.
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Maybe a meeting might help wish you well
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Welcome back 
Have a good read around and take it ODAAT.