I haven’t been sober since I was 13, and I keep lying about being sober, and I keep getting caught, yet I keep lying. Honestly, it’s not like I need to lie, but in a way, knowing people believe I’m sober or thinking I’m doing better feels good. I feel painfully aware of my actions, yet there seems to be no end in sight. My lungs wheeze, and my head spins, yet it’ss never enough. I’m just not enough
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Getting sober (if that is your aim) requires honesty. Honesty with yourself, honesty with those who care about you. If you’re feeling compelled to lie then it seems like you’re not happy with the situation and want to change?
Stick around here and read some of the stories from those who have trodden this path before you - you’re not alone! Then, come up with a plan to get where you want to go and steps to help you stick with it.
Next time someone asks you, try starting with “no, I’m not sober yet but I’d like to be and I’m working on it”. Hopefully by then, with a plan, maybe you can say “yes I’m a week sober” or whatever…
personally I found the lying ended up being the hardest in the end. Lying devalues our sense of self and makes us feel pretty awful (in most people). There is relief in the truth, even if it is uncomfortable at the time.
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Hi LJ, and welcome to TS! That pain in your post is all too familiar. It’s not just you, lies come with active addiction. Lying pauses the guilt and shame in that moment when confronted about our sobriety, and it blocks discussion on the subject. We can’t restore other people’s faith in us with lies though, and it is personally very injuring. You stop believing in yourself, or your ability to quit.
It sounds like you may be still in active addiction, correct me if I’m wrong? No judgement here, we have our own journeys with addiction and are familiar with much of the things you feel. You should really stick around, the TS community are a supportive bunch 
Reading about other people’s experiences might help with your own sober journey. We have a check-in post that helps with accountability, and it’s nice to see those sober days totting up. Being here is a good solid first step
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I only have 3 days sober under my belt so I don’t have alot of advice to offer except for one thing… you are enough. I’ll say that again. You ARE enough.
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This right here, this tiny little sentence is one of your biggest issues friend, why are you not enough? You dont have to tell us here unless you feel comfortable sharing but i have always felt that way too, alot more when i was younger and especially when i was in active addiction…begin to decipher this and youl be on to the right track
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Hello and welcome. One of the driving fuels of any addiction is shame.
We understand that our behaviour is destructive to us and to others, and yet, we keep indulging in it. Shame.
We are afraid to be caught, to be found out and exposed. Shame.
We think that we should be better, we should be able to stop but can’t/won’t. Shame.
We are afraid that others will see the lengths we’ve gone to maintain active addiction. Shame.
We’re afraid that once everything is out, we will lose everyone and everything. Shame.
Shame makes us hide. It lets the addiction fester. The lying is just a symptom of deeper rooted issues, like addiction in itself is a symptom. Any addiction is an all consuming, fatal disease and it will not stop if left untreated.
If you want freedom, you have to start to be totally honest with yourself and then get help - and keep being honest.
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Glad you’re here! This is a great place to find support and resources of all kinds to combat addiction and help learn to live sober!
There is already so much great, raw stuff here in these responses, especially about honesty and shame. This is exactly why communities like this are so essential to recovery. There are people who do understand and empathize with you, I’m definitely one of them.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need additional support! 
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It is a scary thing to truly admit that you are in trouble, and you need help. It is however the very first step that must be taken to recover. You don’t have to tell everyone everything, but at least one person, could even be a professional, but tell them exactly how much, how often, how bad, no sugar coating. It is actually freeing, to be free of the armour.
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