Sorry, the hard truth is: Recovery is not negotiating, wishful thinking or tit for tat. You work your recovery, others do whatever they do. Your husband feels like he does, acts like he acts and you cannot change that nor is it your beer. We don’t heal because we clinge on our partners and ask things of them they neither can provide nor are willing to give. We heal because we put in the work, daily, keep going and learn to navigate life sober. You do you and focus on your recovery only. Once you are stable in this you can have a look at relationship issues. Using alcohol as unhealthy coping mechanism in violent situations as you described is common, you are not alone. It is your responsibility to learn to navigate life in healthier, sober ways and get help to process what you’ve been through. Give yourself time and stay focused on your recovery. Share away, we all have been through some shit. You are not alone 
4 Likes