I binge drank so bad last Saturday that I ended up in the ER. I just went to a friends house and thought I would have a couple casual drinks, but I woke up at home covered in medical equipment. My husband was furious with me, which I understand, but he was also very cruel to me about it. I’m trying to get sober now (for the first time ever) and it seems like there’s nothing I can do to escape that cloud of “I’m a fuck up” that my husband sees in me. He called me sniveling and pathetic and that he didn’t have any sympathy for me and the fact I was upset “offended him”. I don’t know. He’s literally all I have and now I feel like I have no one. Part of me wants to get sober, part of me just doesn’t think life was made with me in mind and everyone would be happier if I just didn’t exist
I can really hear your pain. It is awful to hear such things from a partner. Those are harsh words that will not help anyone get better. I can understand how you feel, I have felt similar, but your life is precious, and you deserve a sober, fulfilling life. For me, the only thing that made me feel better about myself was effort and time. Behaving as a sober and dignified person, and leaving that messy drunk in the past. This experience was a lesson, not a life sentence. Learn from it, and move on, far away from it.
There are resources here
Resources for our recovery
A schedule for recovery here
What’s YOUR plan?
Probably all of us here have been where you are now. Absolutely disgusted with yourself, desperate, hopeless. I say that not to minimise your suffering, but so you don’t feel alone. And many of us recovered, some are still working on it, but we are all not giving up. Don’t give up on yourself, even if other people do, if you let us, we won’t give up on you. 
Welcome to the site, I’m so glad you found us. A supportive site!
One day at a time .. to stay sober just for a day and then the next day.
To start building confidence in your self.
Here there is a community who can help you not feel so alone and will support you.
Welcome! Glad you found us. We know how you feel…
Your husbands response is hurtful, unhelpful and poor BUT it’s probably driven by his fear for you. You put him in a scary situation (Losing the person he loves) which is totally out of his control and fear has turned to anger & sadness.
I’m not saying it’s right; it’s not. He needs to help you right now but you need to step up and show him that you want help. You DO matter.
Stick around here and get to know the community and resources. There IS a way out of how you feel now and TODAY is a great day to start
Not true this world needs you! Get sober and trust, it will be your greatest accomplishment in life watch how many great things come with it. I believe in you, you got this! Peace, Good luck and Take Care. 
Welcome to TS 
I recommend to check into rehab and get medical as well as therapy.
Sobriety is not a cure for our problems, it gives us the opportunity to tackle the underlying issues and learn to cope with life in healthy, responsible ways.
Learn about addiction and recovery, keep going, one day at a time from minute to minute. It takes time, work and patience. Be kind to yourself.
Thank you so much for your response. I was feeling very guilty and alone, and just knowing people hear and see me is a great relief to me.
Been there. Not the hospital equipment in the home, you have me there but the waking up without knowing what happened the night before, the decision to have a few beers and never knowing why I couldn’t stop at 4,6,8,10, the angry spouse.
Everyone on this site has had a day one with alcohol, some more than once. Stick around, here on the site and in the big here too please.
You don’t have to continue drinking the way you have been. I’m 4.5 YEARS away from my last blackout thanks to this site.
Welcome.
Welcome to TS and Sorry to hear you’ve gone through this and all the emotions that you’re feeling too. It’s great you’ve reached out on here, that’s a positive first step for you, on here you’ll find that you’re never alone and will always have support if/when you need it. YOU are worth getting sober for YOU, taking it one step at a time and eventually being able to live your best life with the right resources/tools that work for you, it’s hard but definitely worth it in the long run. Wishing you all the best and sending healing thoughts to you 
How are you doing now?
Welcome to the group 
so glad you found us .
Sounds like a really rough time you’re going through , but your are important in this world and need to stick around and see yourself recover 
This group is amazing and is full of support and community and I have built some great connections in here !
There is a way out . Stick around and read some of our stories and progress .
You can do it , we believe in you !
I come here daily sometimes twice to celebrate my successes , these guys helped me through a relapse and now I’m 17 days in and thriving … don’t get me wrong it’s not an easy road but I feel so much better for it .
Hope you stick with us and get get the help you need to being to heal
Hey Killian, how are you?
I just read ur post and Im so sorry for the things uv been thru lately. That mustve been very scary waking up at home with all that medical equipment. And youre already feeling so down on urself, that hearing those things from ur husband, probably made things sooo much worse.
Im assuming he isnt an alcoholic or addict? He doesnt seem to know much about addiction/alcoholism and why we do the things we do. My husband isnt an addict/alcoholic either and he doesnt “get it” and how my brain works lol Overtime, as I gained sobriety, he began to see how serious I was about getting clean and sober. Our relationship has changed for the better. But either way, u have sooo much support here from all of us 
Stick around. Come on here daily and check in. Ask for support when the urge to drink pops up. Attend online or in person meetings. They really help! We are in this together 
I feel your pain and response but I feel his too.
I am a recovering alcoholic and my dad is too.
Out of desperation I would get angry and upset with him too try to create change. Ultimately he had to make the change himself, but I tried and the anger and hurtfulness came from trying to help.
Get yourself help. Read, learn and don’t pick up a drink again