So something weird is happening and its making me feel…sad? I can’t really describe th3 feeling. Ive been in and out of sobriety from alcohol for years. I struggle with it immensely. I did pretty good by cutting out whiskey and liquor for a good month or so, but was still drinking beer. No big drama , just that I know I have a drinking problem. So the past 2 nights I drank I threw up violently, like projectile vomit, it was very unpleasant. This has been happening on and off for the past year. So basically whats happening is I used to be able to drink like a fish with little issue in the sense my body could handle it. Now though? My body is just straight up rejecting the alcohol. The buzz is not fun anymore, it doesnt taste good (did it ever though?), and my face looks aged and tired. I dont want to drink anymore, and quite honestly I CANT drink anymore, my body simply will not allow it. Has anyone every experienced this? Why do I feel bummed out?
I think it is perfectly normal to be angry your favorite song sucks now, your favorite food is bland and not comforting.
I drank to the point of having alcohol poisoning more times than I’d like to admit. Maybe your body was rejecting it out of self defense once it knew more than your brain about what could and couldnt be processed by your digestion process.
I’m sorry you feel like ass and lost your dominant coping mechanism. It’s your sober self’s birthday today though. Imagine all the things you’ll be able to like and remember now. Imagine how you’ll slay if you can make it through today.
If you are in withdrawl you should take it easy and try not to let yourself shame spral today. Even if you just lay there cramping and sweating you’ll be a hero. Alcoholism is quite the formidable foe. I believe in you!
I worked on quitting for over thirty years. At the end of all that time, I decided to never drink hard alcohol and stick with Lite Beer. I knew for my entire life, since in my single digit years, that alcohol was both a problem and helped me escape the crap of my life. Quitting hard alcohol is definitely not a solution, at least not for me, and not for any that I know. I didn’t have black outs, no one thought I had a problem - except for me….I KNEW.
So, like C-Sun has pointed out, you are likely in body self-defense from all types of alcohol. The body and mind are far smarter than we allow, for the most part.
Welcome to the World of People Who Understand
Edit to add - Joined in 2017? You’ve likely known for a LONG TIME.
Hold on, this too shall pass.
Maybe your autonomous nervous system is rejecting it out of self defence. Reading what you wrote, seems to me your body is extremely exhausted.
Perhaps some rest? Something tells me you need that big time.
Best
Thank you for pointing out i joined in 2017. I didnt even realize it has been that long since I decided to join this community. Its already been 9 years since then. Thats actually depressing lol. Ive “quit” so many times…but this time feels different. Something just clicked today, im tired of abusing my body with alcohol. I truly feel done with it, maybe that’s why I feel down? Its a weird place to be in. I am relieved that my insanity seems to be coming to an end. I gave myself a small goal of 1 week. Forever seems so daunting, I will just keep pushing my goalpost further as the sober days go by. I want this.
You are right. I need to rest and reset my body to a healthy place. Thank you for your support
Luckily not in withdrawal. Ive seen what that looks like in family members and I fear if I dont listen to my body thats the road ahead. My mother actually drank herself to death , she was only in her 40s. I do not want that to be my story.
The thing that happened to me, after all the 30+ years, was an accident. I almost died falling down the stairs in my house - just beer in my system and not that much (though I don’t remember that day, or two weeks before).
I survived with a traumatic brain injury and still took me two months after leaving the one-month hospital stay. Today, I welcome day 908. My life is shit…but I am alcohol-free.
I’d use a one moment, one minute, one hour, one day goals..It’s a thing.
Im so sorry you went through such a traumatic experience. Im really happy you are alcohol free. That to me sounds like your life is not shit, its just raw now. You feel everything, plus a brain injury. Ugh, im so sorry. We all are fighting battles. You are very strong , over 900 days makes me want to cry , I cant wait to get there.
I can relate, I’ve also quit several times. I recently restarted my clock and I’m on day two. Its important that you’re here, keep coming back no matter how long it’s been. You joined in 2017 I joined in 2019 
Yeah i was bummed when i started projectile puking towards the end of my addiction but it wasnt the booze or me it had to be a bug smh the insanity of alcoholism.
Man your description brings me back to the hopeless days. Trust there is hope you can get out of the cycle like many of us here. It takes work.
My advice is to dedicate as much time to your recovery (reading quit lit, podcasts, this community, AA, SMART, Dharma Recovery meetings, therapy, iop..etc) dedicate as much time to your recovery as youd dedicate to using. Its amazing what you can build in sobriety.
One day at a time
Towards the end of my active addiction with alcohol I used to puke a lot, for me it was more when I’d gone a short period without booze then when I had a drink my body would calm down, my body just was not coping at all and obviously withdrawals were kicking in. I would personally seek professional advice if you can because it can be hard on your body when stopping and with withdrawals kicking in. I was bummed when I stopped drinking as I’m sure many were, your supposedly best buddy is having to do one BUT nearly 9 years of recovery, it’s the best damn move I ever made because to be quite honest, I probably wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t stopped. Be kind to yourself and take great care moving forward on your new, positive journey, it will definitely turn into a beautiful one 
Checking in today. I Did not drink so 1 day sober! I do feel slightly worse than yesterday. No appetite, but feel hungry, fatigue, and brain fog, GI issues. No shakes or anything serious. I feel just generally unwell, lol. I have lots of running around to do so that will be good for me, even tho im feeling run down. Im hoping I can shake it and by evening Ill feel normal. Here is to day 2 
Yes… Your post reminds me of the ugly beginning of the end. Which was a mess for several years. Including 2, 3 years of trying to quit.
My legs were very weak. Every day walking from parking lot to the office I was wondering how they will carry me.
I was super high functioning in job. Delivering. Wearing a mask.
Finding a reason to drink again every evening. Was it for the good, the bad, relaxation, celebration, sadness, happiness.
Waking up every morning super upset that I did not manage to hit my goal not to drink.
At the same time being in unhealthy relationship and later just the craziest on.off very poor bullshit, as not any path of inner healing started yet. Suffering. Eating was also out of control inbetween nothing and everything.
Additionally to the weak legs, I started having heart palpitations. Laying between persons not good for me at night, not ableti sleep. It was such a mess. The doc started tasting worse and worse with every round…
I made it. 877 days now.
I am as fit and trained as never before in my life, my legs are always strong and I know I can rely on them, my nails, skin, hair made a huge change, I did not notice before that they suffered. Struggling with weight, but this I will also manage.
Just wanted to let you know it is worth it. Keep checking in here, share whats going on with you, read along.. There are lots of ways to get sober. A better life is waiting for you. 
Thanks again for your question, making this reflection possible. I still can barely believe what I have been through.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Masking is such a crazy, lesser known part of being an alcoholic! I definitely was a pro, or so I thought. Congratulations on your huge number!
I’m with you. Doing day 3 today. Restarted a million times.
I think alcohol has changed in its content and or production as it’s all just awful now. I drink wine but nothing tastes like it use to. I should go down that rabbit hole.
It would also be the decades of ingestion that has changed how our body chemistry deals or not with the ethanol.
Hang in there Earth day 4 is around the corner.
Thats very interesting, you might be on to something, maybe? Im on day 3 today! Lets do this 
