So I was supposed to meet with a new psychologist today over zoom, however upon entering the “room” I was immediately met with disrespect and rudeness. She wouldn’t accept that I was in an enclosed office with plenty of privacy. It made HER uncomfortable that I wasn’t at home. Hello lady I still have a job to do. I can’t just run home and sit in front of a screen where I have even less privacy…. If complete privacy is what you’re after why can’t we do the session in an office like normal? I know she has one. Even within walking distance to my office…. She was a substance abuse “specialist” who’s first statement to me was what have you used today because your eyes look glossy and you look like you haven’t showered… I told her how uncomfortable she made me feel. I told her for this being our first meeting you’re leaving a sour taste in my mouth and how can I trust with my deepest pain and trauma when I feel judged and not supported from the person who gets paid big bucks to do just that…. I ended my relationship with that facility as a whole. I’m seeking help from other places seeing who can see me the soonest. I feel so emotional over the way I was treated. I’m trying to take it for what it was. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe our connection was bad. There’s a million maybes I’m replaying in my mind trying to justify the way I was treated without sounding like a self righteous jerk…. I went into the meeting looking forward to it. Knowing it was in my best interest, but now I’m so disheartened, I don’t know why her actions made me break the way I am. I did shower this morning. I put on my face and I dressed nice all to be told my hygiene is lacking… my eyes are glossy because they’ve been full of tears since the time I got up and checked my phone this morning. I’m sitting here in the rain having a smoke trying to gain some composure but this day just keeps dealing the blows one after another. First it was drama with my dad this morning, then my boss is up my ass about jobs that I have no part in and know nothing about. But I jumped in head first trying to learn them so I could have some answers to give but still my best and full efforts aren’t enough. Next the blowout with that therapist who consequently made me feel even worse than my family did this morning. I’m an emotional wreck and I can’t stop the tears. I’m not craving to use but I am craving a hug, or a pat on the back, hell I’d be thankful for a handshake or a high five 
just a little validation that I’m trying and there’s a reason. My heart is shattered and I can’t say I have the energy to pick up the pieces today. The only thing I’m really looking forward to is my nightly NA meeting because there I feel the things I’m neglected of outside. At least I have this group and my fellow addicts at NA to lean on and cry to when nobody else can spare their time or energy. I promise I’m not trying to wallow in self pity. That’s not what this is, I’m just feeling so many things and I’m disappointed that the sole place for me to safely discuss them all treated me like I pulled a Manson hit on her household. I have nobody that I can talk to about this stuff in my circle and although I’ve made friends at NA I don’t have any of their contact information. I’ll make sure that changes this evening when I go…. I’m sure you all are so sick of seeing my posts, and I’m sorry but I’m thankful to those who read and respond to me. You’re quickly becoming the best resources I have if not one of the only resources I have right now. So thank you for sparing a moment for this suffering addict 
I will get through it with the bravest face I can muster. Even if it’s just for today 🥸
Let the tears flow. Let the feelings flow. Let the waves come - and pass.
That’s a hard day. I’m sad to hear about it. But I’m here with you. We all are.
I read this while on a break at work. Sometimes things just suck. We can lend meaning to these things in different ways. Some people see it as a test. Some people try to find a lesson. Some people just see the absurdity of days like this, take a step back, and laugh because they see the big picture.I admire people who can do that and think it’s a great skill to cultivate. Look at the big picture. On average, your life has been better sober. Statistically speaking, odds are tomorrow won’t be this bad. You’re climbing a mountain successfully and complaining about the crevasses.
What a disappointment Shae.
I’m so sorry. You really are having a crappy day aren’t you? Shit. As hard as your day has been. You are very strong and handling it very well. I admire that in you. It’s got to be very exhausting for you and I would be breaking down in tears too. Keep breathing. Keep posting here. I hope you can sort out and get a new therapist. I don’t think a new client with a new therapist should have been treated that way at all. I think first impressions are pretty import. I would not give her another if it were me. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe this or that like you said. But she’s a professional and she was out of order in my opinion. You must have been so disappointed and hurt.
Here’s the best I can do for a hug for you.
I hope you can let it out again at your NA meeting and get some support there.
What a horrible day and I am so sorry for the way you were treated by that counselor I would make a complaint. You reached out for help and got abuse and trauma that is sickening to me. Also please keep posting we are in no way tired of your posts, you need to get it out!
I am glad you have the fellowship of NA later, I am going to an in-person meeting tonight and you will be in my thoughts. Please reach out anytime my inbox is open.
Thank you so much for everything. Your words definitely impact me in the most positive of ways. Thank you for being you Thank you for caring, it has been the most awful day but I’m thankful for my job for which I’m still at because I can’t leave early. I’m thankful for you and others like you who have helped me come this far. I’m not going to give in, I can muddle through the murkiness sober even if I cry through the whole shabang. Bless you And hugs 
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to share them with me I did make a complaint and I found a new therapist. Sucks it’s a week and a half out but I’m thankful I found somebody new. I honestly don’t know how much more I can cry today! You would think I would be shriveled up like a raisin by this point! I appreciate your support and I have you have a wonderful meeting this evening. I’m sure my flock is tired of hearing me cry through my shares but it’s a part of my charm I guess haha. Bless you
Thank you.
Getting clean and sober is a struggle to say the least.
There’s another good thread on here if you’re interested. Great bunch of people, Just checking in daily to be accountable. Sharing struggles, victories, support and much love and caring.
Have a good read around if you like. Join in when your willing. It’s nice to have people that can relate and got your back. This is my only support for sobriety. This and my family. Shit. This is my family.
the one and only times I went for counciling the bloke said ‘Hi I’m so and so do you want some of my orange, So you don’t love your kids then??’, I left and went to the pub. Only other addicts can help me, they understand. I didn’t have a love problem (apart from myself) I had a drink problem. Personally I feel much more at home sitting in a meeting with a bunch of people just like me telling all of them all about me than I do with one other person and only one opinion.
My brother from another mother 
I’m so sorry Shae. What a craptastic day. I’m sure your NA meeting will end it on a positive note. Just hang in there. Stick tight to those who you know will support you.
Hi Shae,
I’m so sorry you have had such a difficult day. No one deserves to be treated the way you were by your family or your psychologist. You handled it with such grace, while standing up for yourself. You gave your psychologist the benefit of the doubt ( which should have been a kindness she extended to you). You went through a shit day and you are sober. I’m so happy you are here 
I’m sorry you had such a shitty day but I’m really proud of the way you handled it. Sometimes crying is all we can do under the circumstances. Glad you came here to vent and I hope you get some more support or even a hug at your meeting. In the meantime, I’m sending you a big virtual hug.
The world is filled with alot of negativity and people who are just filled with themselves, even if she was having a bad day she should have been a little more considerate and not pre judged you on the first meeting. Its like we can do our best at putting ourselves together and someone still going to find something shtty to say. But anyway you do have people here that care and understand what your facing, who needs that disrespect from a professional thats supposedly there to help. Keep coming here and reaching out we’re all here to help anyway that we can.hugs🧘♂
Awww Shae…that is a lousy day. That therapist sounds very unprofessional and unhelpful. That is putting it mildly. Send her packing. I’m glad you have NA people that accept you and understand. You deserve that. (()). Virtual hugs for you. I hope tomorrow is better.
I am glad you were able to establish a reasonable boundary for yourself. Crying is and should be okay. I wanted to cry multiple times at work today and o my one person mildly harassed me and it was via email.your feelings are justified and you are a bright and courageous spirit destined for amazing things!!!
Holy cow, i am so sorrymfor what youbhad to deal with. Abd then i was thinking, wow, you handled the situation so well, you told her how you felt, that is great and the best you could do! It is very inspirational for me.
I hope you will find a human counselor asap! You are worth it 
Cheers to you for choosing to hold your head high and keeping pushing. I know it gets hard sometimes but when it does fall back on your NA family and hand it over to your higher power. Remember you never have to use again against your will and focus on getting through today. Im proud of you!
It’s ok to be sad and angry. Tomorrow is another day and you’ve got this.
How was your day today?