This is my first time writing - I honestly never thought I was going to because I didn’t feel like I needed it. But now I’m 2 years in and the last couple of months have been difficult and I’m a little confused.
Honestly, the first year was pretty easy. I was proud of myself and proud to say I wasn’t drinking. But now the last few months have been hard. There’s been a few times where I tell myself I’ll start drinking just for special occasions, but it hasn’t happened. Then a few days ago I went out to lunch with a friend (they didn’t get a drink) and really wanted to get a drink. I was fighting myself internally, telling myself one drink was fine. But I’ve never been a one drink person, I drank to get drunk because I didn’t see the point if I wasn’t. I miss the taste and the feeling.
I guess my question is if this is normal. Are some months/years better than others? What helps? I’m new to this, I really never thought I would be sober and I didn’t do any research, go to rehab or anything before stopping. Any suggestions on books, apps, tips, advice would be greatly appreciated.
Apologies for the long post. Kind of seems like I need to journal about this too.
Welcome to the community you have found a great place with lots of support. You’re kind of walking at thin line there because you’re thinking about it a lot. I’m glad you came to this site where you will get support. I think people do have harder times and less hard times and easy times where they don’t want to drink
I think when it starts nagging you like this is the time to really pay attention so that you don’t end up doing something that you truly don’t want to do.
There is a thread here called “checking in daily to maintain focus” and that’s exactly what people do on the thread. They check in every day and say how they’re feeling about everything. You can get to know people there and they can get to know you and your particular challenges in your every day.
There is a wealth of information on this site. There is a thread that is all about sober literature, search that in the search bar.
There are all kinds of distraction threads. Food, music, art, memes etcetera.
The most valuable thing here are many people who are just like you almost and who have been challenged beginning their sobriety and along the way in their sobriety. Reading their stories and what people have written is very helpful and educational.
More people will come in and reply with a lot of good information for you. There are links for all types of meetings if you’re interested in meetings, meetings online, meetings in person etcetera.
One day at a time continue to go forward in your sober life
I put ‘sober literature’ in the search engine and even though the thread that has all the books/literature in it didn’t come up in the top 10 there is so much just great info in the links that did come up.
You’ve done so well and putting some tools in place as suggested will help you so much. Recovery can be very up and down with mixed emotions at times but staying focused and remaining on your path is without doubt the best way moving forward. Take one day at a time, these feelings will pass.
Welcome at TS, really so glad you found us and shared. Congratulations on two years, that’s a really great achievement and you have reason to be very proud of yourself.
Looking back, my second year in many ways was more struggle than my first. I had successfully managed birthdays Christmases, dates, family reunions sober and it wasn’t hard anymore so I started to wonder whether I was healed now. Temptations started creeping in just around the two year milestone and the thought of just giving alcohol another try. I decided to postpone the decision for another year and see how I felt about it then. Once I made that choice, cravings were easier to handle. I am in year five now and I am still choosing the way I am feeling sober now over how I might be feeling drinking.
Checking in here daily to be reminded, whats at stake, also helped.
Hope to see you around.
I think it is common. I certainly experienced similar. The first year wasn’t easy for me at all, but the benefits were clear, the time racking up was exciting and motivation was high. The second year, I felt stable, relieved, not as exciting, but still good. Since then, it has been a lot less exciting (sobriety wise). There feels like no difference in achievement in 3 years and one month and 3 years and 11 months, the benefits feel imperceptible and I even start to wonder, could I drink normally? at times.
This is when I have to give myself a good talking to, and get back closer to a ‘program’. You say you got sober by yourself, which is great, but joining a program or even reading quit lit or listening to podcasts by yourself later in sobriety may be useful. I often need to ‘top up’ my recovery, and it is a major reason why I stay on this app even though I coming up to 6 years. Seeing new members, listening to people’s journeys, keeps me close to sobriety.
Welcome. You’ve been sober a long time for a reason. You have great recognition that you go overboard when you drink. I had the exact same mindset. Drink to get drunk and one or two I never saw the point of, unless those two were equivalent to 8 lol. If you’ve never tried a program I’d highly suggest that. AA has been life changing for me and I know so many awesome sober people now and have made friends. It gives you a lot of great stuff to focus on and ways to give back. Other programs like smart recovery work for people also. The main point is that we focus on other wholesome things so a drink doesn’t seem so appealing anymore and having a community of sober people is really a huge thing. Hope that helps
Yes its normal. Really common actually. But even if it wasnt…. Theres no rule book to sobriety. The only actual rule is stay sober.
I’m almost 3 years sober. I felt similarly. I mean…. It was hard for me but not in the traditional way. I went through triggers but sobriety had become this like unwavering stone wall. See for me drinking filled a void when I stopped using other substances. In 2023 my liver started failing. At 25 I was told I needed to make changes or I would die. So that honestly helped. But this past year has been brutal. My fiancé was admitted to the hospital for a week, one of my pets died, my mom relapsed and went entirely off the deep end, lost a job, started a new one, took one of my sisters in, financial stress, all while trying to plan a wedding. I got legitimately depressed for the first time since I stopped drinking. Stopped taking care of myself, stopped going to the gym, stopped eating normally, showering normally, wasn’t brushing my teeth, sleeping all the time. A drink never sounded better.
I went through those internal battles before of “one drink isn’t going to kill me” but you gotta remember that it’s not that first drink. It’s the second, third, fourth that lead to more drinking or in my case will eventually lead to substance use bc I’m too drunk to care.
You’ve come so far. And just because it’s felt easy the last 2 years….doesn’t mean you didn’t do work and do an incredibly hard thing. If it helps….lean into that pride a little bit. Being able to say “I’m sober. I haven’t drank in 2 years” hold onto THAT feeling. For a long time that feeling was my higher power in a way because I could accept that that feeling, the trust I earned back from my friends and family, the support they’d give me that I missed and needed….it was bigger than me.
Hope this helps you feel a little less alone while you sort through it. We’re always here when you decide it’s time to talk
For myself, when I hit 2 years sober, I personally found myself rather unhappy. With my sober eyes, I could see that while I wasn’t drinking-patterns in my life were repeating and I was pretty isolated. I didn’t feel great, especially when I realized the only common denomitator to my life was me.
At that moment, I knew I didn’t know what to do anymore. I had made some inner changes in my sobriety, but I didn’t know what to do from there.
So, I prayed. I had no idea who I was praying to-my dad, the universe, the angels, the powers that be, god-whatever. I just asked for help and to be shown the way forward and have it be made clear and obvious.
The next morning by nothing short of divine intervention in my life, I was brought to AA. I thought it was strange as I had been sober 2 years without it and I almost said no thanks. Well, I actually did lol, but then I changed my mind and said it can’t hurt. I got my sponsor that day and began working the steps.
When I tell you that was the journey that changed EVERYTHING in my life for the better, it’s no exaggeration! I had to pray for willingness often as it was all a foreign concept to me that I had previously rejected thinking I knew best, but truly-I needed that change. I’ve never been happier or felt more free than I do now-no matter what is going on in my life, that continues.
This is just my experience I share. For me, my sobriety was good but my recovery in that program has been what’s continued to keep me sober and hitting 8 years without alcohol.
Hi there! Welcome to this amazing community! And congratulations on 2 years sober!!
To be honest, i think what ur experiencing is fairly normal. I know for myself (at 4+ years in), ive experienced similar. It usually happens tho when im getting complacent in my recovery. We have a daily reprieve from our addictions, meaning we MUST do something for our recovery on a daily basis. When i start feeling irritable and discontent, or have thoughts of using, its almost alwyas because i am not doing the daily work. When i get back to doing the work, things improve
You seem quite self aware (which is a great characteristic to have) so have u maybe noticed that ur slacking on recovery related stuff in the last little while? Maybe that has something to do with the increase of cravings lately.
Personally, i did also feel like year 2 was the hardest so far. Its almost like i spent the 1st year just getting clean and sober. Then year 2 was more about living life on lifes terms and learning how to really cope with emotions and other situations that came up.
Im glad uv noticed these changes bcuz now u have the opportunity to do something about it. And reaching out on here was a fantastic start shows how much u want sobriety!
Hey there, I definitely found the 2 year mark brought up a lot of feelings and thoughts. In hindsight, I see it was a time I needed to move more toward recovery…which I look at as my WHY I was drinking and WHAT I was escaping from…which for me, was my feelings. It was actually a time for me to do some talk therapy and work on becoming comfortable with feeling uneasy, stressed, anxious…I had to learn these are normal feelings and part of life…they do not mean something is wrong with me, they won’t kill me, I can acknowledge them and let them go. Sounds easier than it is…I still work on this. Bottom line…sobriety doesn’t solve all the things, it gives us the space to deal with life with clarity and not hungover or impulsively, it allows us to live life on its terms…ups and downs…without running away/escaping thru drugs or alcohol. Idk if any of that resonates or makes sense.
As for a list of great books that helped me immensely see I was not alone and how we can change our lives…here is my list…I love to read…
