I have struggled with addiction for more than half of my life, which is crazy to think about at 36 years old.
Recently, I reached the longest period of sobriety I can remember having in years. Shortly after that, about a month ago, I made the mistake of thinking I could use again just one more time. Obviously, that didn’t happen.
I’ve been using again—not nearly as heavily as I used to—but I’m scared of getting back to that point.
I admire everyone who has years of sobriety and hope that one day I can get there too. I don’t know why I keep stumbling on this journey, but I’m trying not to give up
Glad you are here Shawn. Sorry to hear about your recent relapse.
Basically everything in your post is super relatable to me. The using for half my life, the complacency that led to relapse, and the fear of falling back into the deep end of addiction.
I’ve stumbled plenty of times, fallen down, crashed out mare times than I’d like to admit. But I kept picking myself up again, with the help of others, and kept trying. Eventually something clicked. Living sober doesn’t fix things, but it’s a good start.
Maybe you’d be interested in a daily check in to keep you accountable, and provide some hope and strength when it’s needed. The thread below is a great place for that.
I think most people here have stories about thinking we could go back to using moderately. I certainly do! We stumble because we’re addicts.
Don’t give up! I’m so glad you’re here and still working for something better. It takes a lot of courage to keep trying. And you’ve already built some sober muscles! Come here and check in when you’re thinking about using.
