I keep relapsing and I just want my sobriety back. I relaspe and then i tell myself no more then im back to relapsing. I was sober I was 1 1/2 yrs sober and I keep fighting for it back and I thought I could do it alone and I cant.
I have been relapsing for almost 6 months of Meth. I will stop then a month later i start and everytime I do I instantly feel guilty. I keep coming on this app on and off lately and I would never post but read posts to remind me I am not alone. Now I finally did and I know I am taking the right step by doing this but Its been so hard and I have been lying about my sobriety to my daughter, family and friends because I dont want them feeling like I failed again. I want to be happy and I to get back on track.
I am scared but I need to do this for me. Its been bothering me and I have held this secret so long it was holding me down and weighing on my back. Please give me advice and help me get my life back.
Hey welcome! Posting here is a great step. You have done this before and can do it again. Maybe write down your reasons for sobriety and your feelings after a relapse while they are fresh in your head tonight.
Going to bed sober tonight can be your first step toward a sober life.
Welcome back in Brittany
When I first started on here I used the gratitude thread every day. Still do.
I wasn’t comfortable at first interacting with everyone as I was a bit intimidated at first by being new and putting myself out there on a public forum. What I like about the gratitude thread was, it was kind of a one way street at first. Just for me to post each day what I am grateful for. It was fun watching my list grown each day. Eventually I retrained my brain and couldn’t wait to get on there and just post for me. My gratitude. Then when I was comfortable I start interacting with other people. And I found out I was not alone in my addiction or my gratitude. We all have so much in common.
Being clean and or sober is hard work. Working those gratitude muscles daily has paid off huge for me.
Welcome back. I am glad you made this first step back and come here posting. Like you said you are not alone, you are among people who probably know how you feel, the shame, the never ending sermons of: I will never use again. This is a long time. Never. Forever.
One day at a time is all we have. And with more clean time it’ll get easier as.you probably know. You did it once and you can do it again.
It’s great having you here Brittany.
Like others said before don’t be ashamed of asking for help. We can’t do this alone but the good thing is, we are not alone!
On this forum there’s always someone online as people from all over the world are posting here.
Take your time and go through all those inspiring, helpful , motivating threads and find the funny ones as well.
This app and the people on here are simply marvelous.
Except this app have you any other plans at hand. Like meetings or seeing a therapist?
Again Brittany, glad you’re here and good luck and your journey to sobriety. You proved that it’s possible already. You did it once you can do it again!
One foot in front of the other!
One day at a time!
Stay clean only for today!
That’s what an addiction is! It becomes your number 1# priority in life. You will steal, lie and cheat to cure the mental and physical obsession. Sadly, the first person you lie to is yourself! I can’t live without it, it makes me feel better…. and lastly your thinking becomes so obscure that you think I’m only hurting myself. That’s been my experience.
I had to get brutally honest with myself! Accept that I was an alcoholic/addict and surrender to that fact. Luckily I’m not alone, people just like me exist and there are solutions if only I admit to myself; “I can’t do it by myself”. I needed people like me, who are sick like me to show me the way.
Great job on wanting to do this for you. What are you doing to help you stay sober? We need as much support as we can possibly get on this journey. Have you tried NA or other recovery groups? Would you be willing to try them or give then another shot if you have tried? Maybe look for a sponsor to stay accountable with?
This is a wonderful community filled with support – make use of it and stay connected here.
It is one day at a time but we also need to make sure to stay vigilant. Stay away from our triggers and make sure we don’t have easy access to our DOC.
Sobriety can be reached - it is a bitch of a journey to start but will be so fruitful as you stick with it. We have your back here so lean on us.
I have tried na before i enjoyed it i work from 10am to 7 pm eastern time and its hard to find any virtual groups because the ones i could go to are over by the time i would get there. I dont have a sponor or anytbing anymore. Any resources ill take and try. Right now im fighting to stay awake because I have to work and its very challenging when i just want to sleep.
I too have struggled with a meth addiction off and on for years. I know the regret you have for continuing to give in, every single time, when you fight yourself and swear, “This is the last time.” Only to pick up again the next morning. I know what it’s like to look in my kids eyes and realize my love for them was not enough to make me stop. I know what it’s like to feel totally numb when my eyes close at night, and I know what it feels like, to wake up with that urge to do it all over again. I know what it’s like to look for whatever you can find to shut that voice in your head up. The voice that screams for yesterday, longing to go back and choose a different path, a voice that cry’s “if I only knew then what I know now”. I have sat at the head of the classroom labeled “regret and guilt” being taught lessons I never wanted to learn. You aren’t alone in your struggles, the entire world is trying to numb something, in one way or another. Some of us are just bolder about speaking out on it. The vehicle to get there, to numb ourselves, really doesn’t matter. Yes, some are deadlier than others but beyond that, it makes no difference which we choose. The end result is always the same. All addictions begin as a desperate attempt to stop pain and ends in more pain than we ever could have imagined.
The term “one day at a time” has been so overused but in the recesses of its simplicity is such truth. You don’t have to stop copping dope forever and ever. Just don’t do it today. If you can get through this moment—right now—it’s all you need to do to change your entire life. Just don’t pick up right now. I just celebrated a year clean on August 30th. You are not hopeless, if I can recover, I believe and know, you can too
Thank you so much. You described exactly what i have and are feeling. It actually made me tear up because you are completely right. I wojld of been 2 years November and i started relapsing 6 month ago. And i have it in me. I know its hard i know i can do it. I just gef so overwhelmed and upset and trying to deal with stress and working full time. I need to learn how to deal with these things.
Hello thank you for sharing. Im new here and dont really know how to interact on this platform. However my desire to stay clean and sober is the most important thing to me. Im 36 days clean right this second and it feels so good. Im finally having the discipline to not use drugs or drink alcohol. You post was so motivating for my own addiction. So thank you this my first post on here. God Bless
I am brand new here and just learning yet another member shared a resource that looked incredible. When I clicked the link I saw online/virtual meetings of all kinds started almost every hour on the hour. I will try and see how to find it to share forward.
