I just don’t know what else to do, I’m so broken and alone and being sober just feels impossible. I have ZERO support. I don’t have a single friend. My husband lives in a different city finishing a degree. I tried joining some stop drinking subs on reddit, I could never get any responses. I tried online AA meetings, no meaningful connections there. In person meetings I felt like I was just being judged because I was crying the whole time at my first meeting. I feel like I’m screaming at the world that I’m not okay and just no one cares. I already have confirmed liver damage. I’m going to die by 35 at this rate. Why is it so hard to quit.
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Welcome Becks
I don’t usually speak for everyone here, but we’ll be your friend. I’m so sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here. But you will be welcome with open arms and no judgement. You don’t have to live like this anymore.
Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable. If you have any questions just ask. Someone is always around to help.
Here’s a good thread with some info.
I’m glad you’re here.
And btw. There’s people on here that had confirmed liver damaged and are living a good happy sober life.
Best thing to so is keep an open mind to what works for people that share what works for them. And come here often.
I’m glad you’re here.
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Welcome @Becks1 , you’re not alone anymore!! This place is my only sober support, I come here daily and I’m now just over six years sober. Lean on this place and us. We know how you are feeling. I never thought I could ever get off the hamster wheel of continuous drinking. I felt so stuck. I discovered this group by sheer accident one afternoon when I was looking for a sober timer. I’m so glad that I did. There is always someone around 24/7, the lights are always on. I wish you all the very best on your journey and I look forward to seeing you around
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Thank you <3 I have not had a drink since 8/18 but it is all I’m thinking about. If I had the opportunity to get it right now I probably would. I think I’m also just suffering from really exacerbated anxiety from withdrawals. I was a daily drinker of 12-15 a day for the last 2 years (been drinking very heavily since 15 though).
I have heard from everyone that the beginning is the hardest part so I am really trying my best to white knuckle through this, but it’s so hard to do alone. I just signed up for betterhelp to start therapy. It’s expensive but I was drinking that money anyway
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Welcome home Rebecca Honestly… this forum is such a great place of support with many caring people in it. Theres tons of great threads, lots of great advice, and someone is always available no matter the time of day/night.
I dont have alot of in person support in the province i live in aswell and so this forum along with online 12 step meetings, have been crucial for my recovery. Have u tried any online meetings? U dont have to share if u dont want to and ur image isnt visible unless u want it to be. Might help u to feel more comfortable 
I get ur desperation to get sober. I want u to know that i hear u and completely understand that. It is possible to get sober. One day at a time friend 
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Congratulations on ur sober time also! The first little while of recovery is thr hardest. It does get easier, if we put in the work daily. If ur interested in online meetings, i go thru the Intherooms app. Its free. Also, the Insight Timer app ia really nice full of affirmations, meditations, music, nature sounds etc that may help with that anxiety. Its been a useful tool for me in recovery.
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Congratulations on your 10 days Rebecca
We love to celebrate milestones here.
ODAAT.
That first 10 days was the worst for me. That first month was no picnic either. But I learned tools and most importantly I learned to ask for help. And I learned relapse starts way before we take that first drink.
Just happen to have a thread for that too.
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@Becks1 Welcome to talking sober, we are all here for you to help you, so you actually do have lots of support! And you are helping us stay clean/sober as well, so thank you for being here and for having the courage to share your challenges.
I definitely agree with @Butterflymoonwoman about meetings, but if you aren’t computer savvy or prefer face-to-face interaction, there should be AA meetings in your area.
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Sorry to hijack your thread @Becks1 but…..
@Blondie1x
Congratulations on your 6 years Sarah. That’s amazing!! I never knew. Good you you 
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I really want to get sober. I’ve been drinking since I was 15 because a lot of childhood trauma. My mental health has been absolutely horrific all of my life. And I’m just finally starting to REALLY realize how much alcohol is making that so much worse. Maybe if I stop drinking I can feel alright.
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Thank you! I really want to be sober. I’ve struggled with my mental health all my life, I had a pretty traumatic childhood. But I’m coming to realize that alcohol is likely what has brought me to the point of feeling so unbearably depressed and anxious. I just want to feel like a normal person, for once.
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Thank you <3 I have done in person AA and online AA but as a antirelgious leaning person it just really didn’t mesh with me. I know people say that you can use higher power and not say God, but I just find I didn’t agree with some of the verbage used.
I found another group called Refuge Recovery but they require cameras on and I’m just not in a place where that feels comfortable for me. I bought their book though so I am reading up on their process, it is similar to AA with things like taking inventory, making amends. I’m starting therapy too
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Thank you, I have tried AA but it just wasn’t for me. I found a Buddhist based program that I am trying out now.
I think I’m just scared of how much work this is going to be and it’s just leaving me pretty discouraged.
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Welcome to TS Rebecca. This place right here has been my main peer support group for the last 6+ years. I hope it can be as helpful to you as it has been and still is for me. Lots of good people here, each with their own story, each with their own way of tackling this sober journey.
Recovery (or Discovery as I call it for myself) is work and there’s no denying it. But it’s work with a goal, it’s work that makes our lives better, one small step and one day at a time. For me it means finding and keeping peer support, it means working through the reasons behind why I became an addict in the first place, so it means therapy, talking and somatic, it means changing my lifestyle, finding new social circles to move in and make friends, it means new hobbies and passions.
Yes, it’s a lot of work, hard work. But that’s life dear friend. Having a good life takes work. We have to work on our relationship, on our social skills, on our work skills. Living a good life is hard work. In that respect indulging in our addictions is the easy way out. And while living a good life might require a lot of work, it is wo worth it to put it in! My life’s getting better and better and I still find life hard a times, I do find it worth living and keep making progress.
As to peer support groups: like I said this one right here is mine. Everybody has to find his or hers. Everybody has to find, make and execute their own plan. I tried AA and NA early on, it didn’t work for me. Buddhist Recovery (Recovery Dharma) more aligned with my personal convictions, and it also feels a bit less dogmatic to me. So I do attend a meeting every now and then, but this place right here is number one for me. Wishing you all success friend. And glad to have you aboard. Hugs.
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Thank you for the encouragement. I know it’s going to be hard. I have done hard things before but nothing that felt this hard. I once lost 85lbs in 6 months while staying mostly sober. Probably the only time in my life I actually could look at myself and be proud. But then I let drinking derail everything and I gained it all back and Im just miserable again.
I actually found a group called Refuge Recovery that is a Buddhist approach to recovery. I just got the book in the mail so I’m starting to learn their process, the eightfold path, and the four noble truths. It definitely connects with me more than AA did
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I can relate to that feeling of dispair, it’s awful being stuck with your own head without a good sounding board or support.
I have learned to enjoy solitude. It was the natural path for me after dealing with too many awful and dishonest people.. My casual social life is in the pub, but rather pop in here than deal with people to be honest, there’s some absolutely lovely people there but they don’t judge me for not drinking 
I’m on day two again, 36 and it has got so much better after started few years back shifting my mindset from trying to fit in with people that weren’t my people. For some stopping drinking is a process and I’ve had a lot of day ones! You got a lot of support here Backs xx welcome
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Sending a HUGE HELLO 
Welcome Use this community, reach out when you need support, read non stop all the threads if you need to… Just do not pick up that first drink. No first drink means no second drink, means no problems.
Please grant yourself this gift of staying sober, it gets easier as you gain distance and strength and momentum.
I recommend putting effort into your sobriety above everything else, every single day, at the beginning.
I would attend online AA meetings back to back late at night when I couldn’t sleep.
When you walk or and when you do housework or chores, plug into a sobriety podcast.
Read quit and sober lit.
Stay here and be accountable and join in with the community. Contribute and stick close when you need it.
We are all here for you, whenever you need us, but you gotta do your bit by putting the effort in your end.
Nice to see you
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For me I’ve never been a social drinker. I haven’t really been social in general, I just would sit around at home and drink by myself. So it’s almost like alcohol has been my only friend this whole time. (Except I know it’s not a friend). I guess I’m the opposite where I am just drowning in this deafening silence. I’m starting therapy though
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Thank you <3 I have signed up for therapy thought betterhelp and I have found a women’s meeting that has a semi active discord as well. I have some quit lit that I’m starting on. I know I’m going to have to challenge myself.
Right now I can’t really drink even if I wanted to. I messed shit up in life so bad that I’m having to move back in with my parents at 30. I got a DUI 5 years ago and still dont have a car, I can’t afford a payment and the insurance. I’m worried that while yes, I’m staying sober right now it’s not really by choice. I feel like if I get alone and I have the opportunity, I’ll drink. So I know I really have to work on my attitude too, not just not drink cause I can’t.
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It’s a good exercise to write down all the reasons to drink, then all the reasons that you don’t want to drink next to it. For me, I was at rock bottom, and couldn’t cope emotionally or mentally anymore. I had fatty liver but no real physical damage to get sober for. My issue were mental health related. Think long and hard about what you will lose by continuing to drink, go deep and honest…
I think once your mindset changes and you see it as purely sugar and ethanol (chemicals) that masks the work needing done underneath the skin then you can start to see what other things bring you joy on life.
Good luck. I promise you won’t regret not drinking, and that’s on an emotional, spiritual and mental level as well as physically.
Everything else will drop into place, don’t sweat the small stuff or situational issues right now.
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