I notice that sometimes my inner dialog is so negative. As if I’m always expecting the worse to happen. Even when there’s nothing bad happening that inner dialogue comes in and starts negatively thinking about situations Like my relationships or work. How does a person turn that negative inner dialogue into something positive? It’s almost like retraining your mind… any suggestions would be most appreciated. 
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Hey Button.
I haven’t worked all the steps properly but I am trying now. My sponsor tells me doing step 4 is so freeing. You start learning a lot about your self. Especially all the fear and shame we have built up after years of using. This is a shame based disease.
Not sure where you are in your recovery, but I just wasn’t ready to do the streps and get a sponsor right away. But I did do a lot of gratitude work since day one. Actively writing and reading and practicing gratitude on the daily has changed my life. I’ve totally retrained my brain. Come check us out if you’re interested. I’ll save you a seat.
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Currently, I am super negative, as a habit, since my really bad situation a few months ago. I find that daily book sayings, and cards with great tidbits can be helpful.
The book I am currently reading is named “Self-Care” and has daily instructions on abandoning all the negative things. I used the Fifth Agreement Cards for 48 days, and my kiddo was so pleased with my concentration on them that she bought me more (nature related) on my birthday.
It always takes giving your focus something good. It could be a written content, found videos or podcast, etc.
All groups have self-help: AA, Recovery Dharma, S.M.A.R.T., The Luckiest Club and more. Just keep trying many things until you find one that works with you. I lean into more than one group’s bits. All my best!
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That’s totally my tendency, too, to think negatively about things. But I’ve done a lot of work in therapy including EMDR and it’s really helped. I’ve especially had to work on trusting myself to be able to handle situations and make good choices. @Dazercat mentioned the steps. I’ve done them all and it’s also helped, especially with a good sponsor.
Also reaching out to another addict on here or irl helps take me out of my head so I can view things more reasonably and less negatively. Gotta just keep working at it!
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Hey Julia/Button! First, super good to see you around and posting.
I have struggled with negative self-talk, and I think I didn’t become fully aware of the extent of it until sobriety/recovery. And let’s face it - a lot of what we did in active addiction, or at least what I did, was fuel for a lot of shame!
Others have already added most of what I’m gonna add, but here are my two cents, a few tidbits from therapy and the program I work:
- Name it to Tame it. Usually, my negative self talk starts rumbling and I try to mentally avoid it, which makes it grumble louder and a full-on shame storm can ensue. If you’re dealing with shame from some of your actions, best to sit with it - but, take a lawn chair, not the couch.
Just sit with it, acknowledge it, talk back to it about all you’re doing today to not be that person from the past. And then fold up that lawn chair for now. - Related to above, talk to yourself the way you would a friend. Sure, you missed the mark by doing x, y, z, and need to take responsibility for it. And you are! You’d probably give that friend a hug and a mug of warm tea, right?
- This is not to detract from AA or 12 step programs recommended above. I work the Recovery Dharma program, which follows the 8-fold path. One of them is committing to using “Wise Speech”, including to/with ourselves. I find it really helpful to remind myself I’ve committed to talking better to myself (and others), that talking poorly to myself is a form of violence, actually.
I see you, here daily, working your recovery IRL daily, and that is amazing. If your inner voice isn’t full of grateful enthusiasm for this - well, let this place be!
Onward, friend. 
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Well put. Oh I like this a lot. Need to refer this myself. Thanks M 
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Are you ever on zoom AA?
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I need to find a sponsor.
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Not a fan.
I like in person.
Tried it once when my therapist invited me. She’s also in recovery. It wasn’t bad. It does work though.
I like that! Wise speech! I need to stop expecting the worst and thinking the worst case scenario. Thank you
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I think I have a lazy brain Julia… By that I mean it prefers to work at low wattage which translates to falling back on familiar patterns of behavior and thinking. I just read @Dazercat 's reply because I respect what he shares here. And he has some good advice. I also respect the 12-step program but I do something a little different. My program is Buddhist based. Refuge Recovery. Many of our members do 12-step too. For me,I have been retraining my mind through daily meditation. I know step 11 is about the same thing. The practice of meditation is changing me in a positive way. Best wishes.
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I feel this so deeply. My inner voice is so fcked up . plus I’m autistic and grew up being taught negative thinking too, then life comes and beats it in u some more. Sometimes Idek if it’s possible to retrain my brain this shid suucckkksss
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For me, the negative dialogue happens when things are going well. I wait for the other shoe to drop. It comes from events in my past. I think time is a healer for that.
My word of advice: focus on gratitude. Gratitude can be so healing and turn the negative thought to positive.
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I agree with @Dazercat . Steps four and five rocketed my sobriety into a different plane. My thinking and attitudes and emotional health came into alignment with my spiritual experience.
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I am humbly honored kind sir.
This means a lot to me 
coming from someone like you with all your recovery experience.
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I think it takes time and continous practice. Recently I am looking into dbt skills to help me with the same thing. Challenging the logic of your negative thinking, making effort to have gratitude for what is positive, taking opposite action to your negative thoughts, etc, are all helpful to try and think differently.
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