Im not an alcoholic.. at least I dont think I am ! I started out by drinking going out with friends in my early 20’s but as I have got older, somehow that has turned into me drinking on my own in my house most nights, and then getting smashed at the weekend again on my own. I will get through a litre of vodka across the weekend and work my way through another litre through the week. I guess I have been doing this for 10 years plus now. Im sure there are people that drink a lot more and more often, but all I can say is I feel empty. I have no friends, and the sad thing is thats the way I want it … the way I like it .. I know thats not healthy but thats just the way I feel, and I guess one of my goals is to start branching out and meeting new people (Not sure how I am going to do this as yet so any suggestions are welcome!)
I am currently 8 days into my sobre life. This represents the longest I have gone without a drink since I can honestly remember ! I have just finished reading Allen Carrs easy way to stop drinking.. (I used his other book to stop smoking 9 years ago and it worked so thought may as well give it a go!) Like many others I have tried 1000 times to stop drinking before, but it always pulled me back in. This time is going to be different…
On the face of it I have a good life. I live with my young son in a house that I am within a few years of paying off.. I only work part time and have much more money coming in than going out. There are people in much worse positions than I am in and I am grateful for that, however I feel I am missing out on life and that I am wasting it and want more. When I look into the reasons why its all down to alcohol. Its taken my friends, my drive and determination, energy, and the main one for me … PURPOSE.. I have come to realise that my only friend was that bottle of vodka, and that I wanted that more than anything .. much more than meeting people and even more than spending time with my son .. ! For the first time in my life at 46 I have elevated blood pressure which I am sure is down to drinking.
Anyway I wanted to post this here .. I think this is the first time I have reached out in any kind of forum or anything, but I am aware I need to change and I guess this is the first step into the unknown for me !
I think I always failed to stop drinking because I felt I was giving up something.. that my life was less without it, and eventually I would break because the weather was nice, or my football team won, or I have no work tomorow or whatever ! I have focussed on removing the reasons TO drink the theory being if there is no reason to drink … then there is no willpower required to stop ! .. Thats what the book offers, and I can honestly say I am sitting here (Yes on my own!) typing this on a Good Friday night, with no work over the weekend stone cold sobre and not even thinking about having a drink… ! I obviously cannot say for sure that will continue but for the first time in my life I feel that this is not optional, and that in a weird way is comforting as it takes away the ‘oh I will try again next time’ attitude…
Not going to lie I still feel down.. still feel empty, but there have been a few small wins. I went to the park yesterday with my son to a fair, we went cinema the day before and out for a meal. All of this would have easily come secondary to that vodka bottle but after a few days I can already see positive behaviours coming out. I feel this is my one shot. Its up to me to make it count …
Great share for your first post and introduction here. I’m glad you found us.
I finally after years and years of drinking found an app and reached out for help. And one day at a time I’m living a sober life. Is it my best life? It is today!
It took me awhile, to finally admit to people I am an alcoholic. I didn’t like the way it sounded and the stigma of that label. But once I did it was so freeing.
I’ve been pretty active on here for a few years now and this wonderful community helps keep me sober. I start most days on the gratitude thread.
It’s my strongest tool. When I’m sober I got so much to be grateful for. When I’m drinking? I got nothing. After just a few months of daily gratitude work, writing it, reading others, I’ve retrained my brain.
Have a good read around here. There’s lots of great people and tons of recovery knowledge if you decide you want your life back. My life is so much more manageable not planning every waking moment around my next drink.
One day at a time my friend. ODAAT
Just for today.
Hi @Silent_Angst
Labels of all sorts including “alcoholic” can be hard to swallow. The first time someone called me that, i was so shocked and upset. The important thing is that you’ve realized what a problem alcohol is in your life. That’s such an important step and it’s crazy that you got there on your own. You’re already miles ahead of where i was. Congratulations on 8 days. I know you didn’t ask for advice so feel free to stop reading now because this is definitely unsolicited, but i think connecting with other people is vital in the path toward long-term sobriety. Even if that’s on here:)
Welcome to the community @Silent_Angst there’s lots of great threads to read through and people here who understand and have been through similar experiences and realisations. I hope to see you around on here
Welcome! @Silent_Angst! You don’t have to put the label on yourself. Just the knowledge that alcohol is robbing you of your best life! Is good enough! Congratulations on your 8 days! I wish you many more! Life is better sober! Keeping it one day at a time, enjoying today, as tomorrow isn’t here yet!
Until I tried to get sober I didn’t know what an alcoholic was. Everyone defines it differently but for me an alcoholic is someone who prefers a day when they can drink to one where they cannot drink. The reason I define it that way is because I have come to see alcohol as the life inhibiting poison that it truly is, rather than anything else.
What I do know is that you’ve made a great choice!
I’m a similar age to you, had similar BP issues and similarly have a young family. I am a MUCH better father sober than I ever was drunk. I never did anything wrong or reckless, but my kids didn’t get the best of me, and now they do… most of the time (hey, I’m only human!).
Stick around and get to know a few people here… they helped me so much and still do
Hi Thanks for the reply … ! I had a look at the daily gratitude thread and was good to read other peoples wins for the day ! I kinda do that myself through journaling but maybe can start adding it to the thread and like you suggested .. I read some of peoples entries and must admit made me smile ..
Hi @maddsters14 ,
Thanks for the reply .. ! Happy to welcome advice from anywhere so please feel free ! Yes definatly feel I need to get ahead of it and am determined. Your right reaching out and making new connections is something I should be doing .. Even if its on here . Already have seen lots of positivity so think I will stick around !
Thanks. Your words pretty much mirror exactly my situation. Didnt do anything bad for my son but I feel I should be doing so much more and alcohol is the reason I havent .. I like your outlook in how you see alcohol .. as a poison and not as your ‘friend’ .. thats exactly how I am trying to look at it !
I read The Easy Way which helped change my opinion on alcohol. I also read This Naked Mind which hit home better for me, but the message is the same. Allen Carr is trying to hypnotise you with repetition (no judgement, it works). Naked mind is similar but uses more persuasion.
Stay the course… it’s worth it! And stick around here, it’s great to meet people in similar situations to identify with
Hi .. Thanks yes I definatly plan on sticking to it. I can already see positive things happening .. ! I was looking for a new book to read to try and fill all the extra time I have now I am not drinking so have downloaded This Naked Mind and will give it a read ! Thanks for the rec..!
Signs and symptoms may include: Being unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink . Wanting to cut down on how much you drink or making unsuccessful attempts to do so. Spending a lot of time drinking, getting alcohol or recovering from alcohol use.
Yes please do stick around, this is a lovely community! You’ll absolutely be able to find support, connection, and even friends here. I’m happy to hear that determination. You’ve got this.
