I recently got a DUI and for the first time I am completely put off my drinking. I feel like I have failed my family and myself and I never want to feel this way again. I feel as though I will need to be completely sober as I am not an alcoholic but I am a serious binge drinker and if I am around alcohol (especially alone) I will drink. I am still in my 20’s and I want to live a happy and sober life.
This is all very new to me, I am attending my first aa meeting next week so any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. This is my first time being honest about my drinking. I have been sober for a full two days now.
Thank you so much. This means a lot. I feel like I’ve been going through this alone because I am not “enough” of an alcoholic even though it has ruined a lot of good things in my life.
Hey Ava,
So glad you found us. Sorry bout the circumstances that brought you here.
Congratulations on day 2.
I’m not sure what the definition of an alcoholic is. I didn’t think I was an alcoholic either. And frankly I didn’t want to say it. (I’m an alcoholic.)
Like Dan said. The only requirement for AA is the desire to stop drinking.
One AA tip I’ve learned, because I was very reluctant to go. All the meetings have a different flare. Go in with an open mind. I’m fortunate where I live I can shop around for AA meetings I like. I personally like a good speaker meeting. The biggest thing for me was to just show up. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do when I go to an AA meeting. I just have to show up. And listen. That’s all we have to do. Show up. I bet there’s someone else with a DUI there too.
The gratitude thread is my home thread here. Lots of great people on that thread, and every thread, just writing out what they are grateful for every day. We got so much to be grateful for when we are sober.
I struggle with the word “alcoholic” as well. Unfortunately, I do not have healthy relationship with alcohol. It started in my 20’s and I’m now 49. I chase the buzz and before I know it I’m wasted and missing work and ruining relationships etc. I had a DUI at 30 and kept drinking. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s great you are recognizing the problem at this age! You got this.
My advice is this: Learn from others who have been where you are now.
I had a DUI when I was 30 and I didn’t take it seriously. I mean, at first I was regretful and wanted to take accountability for my actions, but when that accountability faded away and debt had been paid, I kept doing what I did before, no change.
Don’t be like me! I can tell you aren’t like me because you are here, you are making yourself accountable, your seeking guidance, you are doing it right, and that deserves a huge pat on the back.
Keep doing what you’re doing and you will be fine.
Hi, I’m also in my 20s and struggle with binge drinking. Very new in my journey as well, 3 days. Let a lot of people down this weekend and realized I needed to change if I want to live the life I dream of. It’s tough being younger during this journey because everyone our age is able to drink normally and don’t understand. It feels very isolated but just wanted to reach out and let you know I’m here and we are in this together
You are not alone. Many of us realized relatively early (often in our 20s; sometimes even in our teens; I realized at 18) that we had a problem. The difference is you are reaching out for help about 15 years before I did. I wish I’d had the guts to face this challenge before it kicked my ass through my 20s and 30s.
I wouldn’t worry too much about labels. Think of it this way: if the electricity doesn’t work in your house, there’s a few different possible causes, all with different labels. The label doesn’t matter to you that much. What matters to you is getting the power working again, and to do that, you need to talk to someone who knows how to get things working properly. There are people like that in AA. Visit your meeting - go ahead and visit a few different meetings; there are many different meetings in every city (all the meetings have a different vibe), and there’s thousands of meetings online too - and find a meeting that feels comfortable for you.
You will find what you need. Keep searching, keep in touch here on Talking Sober, keep learning (lots of good podcasts and books here: Resources for our recovery), and you will find your path.
Welcome. Congratulations on your sober days. Almost 9 months sober here and a very big promoter of AA. Advice I would like to give. Keep very open minded and grab all the resources available to you to remain sober. Here is a great place to connect and get the tools you need. The people here are amazing, wise and have so much experience to share.
Thank you. I have plans of being successful and happy in the future and I know that’s not possible if I keep up my alcohol abuse. It is hard to “miss out” on clubs and bars and social settings but i am not missing anything (yet).
I also had a horrible last weekend and I am disgusted with myself. I let history repeat itself and disappointed the people that care about me the most.
I am always here to talk, I feel like we have a lot in common (addiction wise lol) and I need as much support as I can get. I still haven’t forgave myself.
DUI (I have 3) was an embarrassing thing for me. By number 3 I really started to focus on being sober. I have had my share of guilt but need to remember that I matter and deserve forgiveness but this will take some time. Regarding AA I did not like it and resisted until 2 months ago. Now I like to be around those who are suffering from alcoholism like me. Although we are at different stages of recovery. Also I have attended some NA meetings which I noticed have a younger crowd and a different vibe. NA addresses all addictions. I am greatful no one, including myself were hurt because I chose to drink and drive. Positive vibes for you.
It seems like people get hung up on labels more these days ( that makes me sound old but I feel it is so true) Alcohol has ruined my health/life. But I will not allow alcohol demon to interfere any further.
The word alcoholic comes with a lot of stigmatism around it and it stops a lot of people from getting the help that they need. Which I feel is very sad.
I was one of those people that should stopped long time and got help sooner. But was afraid too.
So I, myself try not to get hang up on the label and just continue to get the help and support that I need to beating this alcohol demon of mine into it’s place.
Life is better without alcohol. I’m happy you here and getting support. It does help some much, for me it truly was a life saver. I wish well on your journey. It is so worth it.
I’m glad you’re here I agree with @HoofHearted I’ve been there and know how you feel right now, but I also know how quickly that can change.
I got my first DWI at 21 and heard “Join the club!” bc everyone around me had one. It felt like a joke. I still went out and drove without a license while going thru my sentence, where I didn’t learn jack Three months later I totaled my car in a tree at 7am, walked home and went to sleep. By the time the cops came a’knocking, they couldn’t prove I’d been drunk and gave me a speeding ticket.
9 years, 8 months later, I got a 2nd one. Being (just)under 10yrs of the prior was an automatic felony. Plus another felony bc my daughter was in the car(yeah, I’m that mother everyone whispers about). 3 years probation, 6 months with an ankle monitor, 1 year of a breathalyzer in my car, and well over $10,000 spent initially, plus thousands more since(insurance, fines, etc). Of course I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world…at first. Then I remembered alcohol would help me forget, so yet again, all I cared about was my next drink. After the first 6 months, the day my ankle monitor was removed, I drove straight to the liquor store from the probation office. Off to the races.
That whole time I thought they were punishing me. Now I know they were trying to help. I always knew I was alcoholic. The problem was I didn’t care. By the time I did, my disease had taken over and controlled everything I did. It only keeps getting worse. Wish I understood that back then. Maybe the last 17 years would’ve been different. Don’t be like me. Take the help
Personally I love being an alcoholic and AA. If I had never accepted that I am one…I never would have started my AA journey…and in turn would never would have started learning the spiritual tools to change my life for the better day by day.
I’ve found it takes alot of work and understanding to fully grasp acceptance in recovery, but it makes all the difference once you do. My problem wasn’t accepting that I was alcoholic. I believed that a long time ago, maybe even in highschool. I just didn’t care. It was accepting the fact I couldn’t control it. It was a painful process of trial and error, but after seeing the same outcome enough times, eventually you’ll believe it. Finally accepting that I had no control over alcohol is what changed everything.
No. It won’t. It can make you believe it has, but it always comes back. Don’t believe it’s lies. I’m glad you found this place. I don’t think I’d be here without it My advice is to read as much as you can, whenever you can. And as for AA, I was never forced into it. I chose to go after reading about it here and I was already 60 days sober. I loved it and went every single day after that (until stupid covid ) Don’t be nervous. The most you’ll have to say is your name, and it doesn’t have to be followed by ‘alcoholic’. You don’t have to share unless you want to, and you’ll still get alot out of it by listening, so pay attention There’s some priceless information in those rooms.
Hello and Welcome! I too got my first DUI in February of this year. I immediately, quit drinking and started attending aa zoom meetings. Like others said, don’t get too hung up on the label of alcoholic. I feel like if alcohol is the source of a lot of problems in your life than you cut it off. I’m coming up on 77 days AF. I had 109 then thought I was strong enough to drink and ended up binge drinking over the summer. And I found that alcohol started to change my personality when I drank. I was no longer the fun bubbly goofy person. I was the irritable.Don’t get in my face type of person. I don’t like how alcohol crept up and next thing you know, I could polish off at 26 no problem. It wasn’t fun anymore. I’m really proud of you for coming here and know that this place has a lot of support and a lot of good people. I look forward to reading your future posts.
-Julia 🩷
I relate! I started drinking because it made me bubbly but that wore off fast and now I’m just a threat to myself and everyone around me when I’m intoxicated.
Being sober is great, tonight I will go to bed and wake up with no hangxiety!!
Thank you deeply. The time and care you and others have put into helping and responding to me is so encouraging.
I agree with 
Three months later I totaled my car in a tree at 7am, walked home and went to sleep. By the time the cops came a’knocking, they couldn’t prove I’d been drunk and gave me a speeding ticket.
) Don’t be nervous. The most you’ll have to say is your name, and it doesn’t have to be followed by ‘alcoholic’. You don’t have to share unless you want to, and you’ll still get alot out of it by listening, so pay attention 
There’s some priceless information in those rooms.
🩷