hello all
this is my first time ever writing here
just to briefly introduce myself, i’m was a cocaine addict for about 3 years, i’m currently 24 years old.
cocaine ruined my early 20s (in a nutshell, lost all my family, friends, and connections, also was imprisoned a couple of times, lost a few jobs, went homeless, and just hit rock bottom in general)
i used to live for coke (the only reason i used to work is to be able to afford it, and when i was unemployed i reverted to theft and other illegal ways to be able to buy), however i was able to finally quit in november 2023 (approx 5 months ago), thinking i would quit for good.
since then i havent even thought about doing until just a few hours ago and ive been stressing and anxious about it
you see in these 5 months i was able to fix much of the damage i did in the past 3 years while i was an addict, morever i was able to reconnect with my family which really helped, i’m also currently working my ass off and generating very good amount of money, so the idea that i feel like driving off write now to a dealer and buying cocaine is really scaring me especially that im craving it so much i cant think of anything else…
i really have no idea what do.any words of advice?
i just want soemone to fucking tie me or break my legs as far as i care just to not be able to go buy.
i dont want to fuck up my life again!!!
please help me
I feel you, but you gotta remember you’re doing good now BECAUSE you’ve been choosing to stay off cocaine and putting that work in to stay sober
From my experience with the coke abuse cycle, I promise you it isn’t worth it to buy cocaine. It will just fuck you up and put you back to square one, trust. I’ve seen the coke wheel of misfortune thousands of times.
It might help to just go to sleep early tonight to get yourself to the next day, that’s what I sometimes do if I’m really tripping balls over blowcaine.
You got this homie!!! Feel free to reach out whenever, it’s tough I know but you shall make it through this. One day at a time
Also, you and I are in the same boat btw. I started using coke around when you did and quit around your age as well. I relate to you with a lot of the stuff you’re saying. Fuck coke, it’s the most wack drug ever. I feel so much better being sober from it, trust you don’t need it.
Another thing to keep in mind is: all the coke nowadays is so trash anyway. Dealers cut all of it to shit no matter how pure they say it is. It’s not like the 70s or 80s anymore. Motherfuckers be putting boric acid and whatnot in it and other toxic ass substances
The first thing i want to applaud u on is reaching out for help! Honestly, ur self awareness is amazing and being able to know to reach out for help BEFORE u act on that urge is incredible.
Like @john_connor1337 stated, ur life is good today because u quit using. If u pick up, it could all be gone in an instant. Its NOT worth it! Drugs literally serve no purpose in our lives and any thought that it does serve a purpose, is a lie. Our addict mind lies to us constantly. It WONT be different this time and guarentee u wont stop at just 1. Play the tape to the end. Remember ur reasons for quitting and how desperate u were. And most importantly, remember that this urge passes. It may feel strong and like it will last forever, but it does pass. Maybe go for a walk or exercise or play a game or do a hobby etc to get ur mind off of it. U can do this and get thru the urge. Ull be SO grateful tmrw mrng after having a good sleep, that u didnt use
https://youtu.be/pu5AaVqYuP4?si=Y0Tlxm_ZEgd8nx5E This video is about how it fucks your nose completely. I haven’t actually watched this video before, because I’m too scared to lol. But I used to have a fellow cokehead friend who watched it and he said it freaked him the fuck out
Hey Narwij, you still with us? It’s been a couple of hours since you check in. I hope you check back in. Is there a meeting you can go to? A friend you can call? Are you reading stuff on here. There’s a wonderful gratitude thread on here that helps put things in perspective.
I would get on there and start writing a gratitude list. Exercising gratitude is a great way to change you attitude. You’ve got so much to be grateful for when you are not using. Get over there and start listing what you’re grateful for. Then read what others are grateful for. We all have one 24 hours in us to remain clean and sober. Thats all we got to do.
thank you for the words of love and support, i’m really grateful for all of that
you have no idea how much that helped!!
i ended up going and working out (which was a good general word of advice from all of you), and then i had a huge meal and went to sleep.
i’m feeling much better now and the urges and cravings got diminished quite significantly
gonna keep fighting through this, i’m really glad i found this forum, its filled with wonderful beautiful people <3
will try me best from here on to avoid all triggers (this is how it started yesterday), and gonna try to be more active on this platform
again, many thanks fellow brothers and sisters, you guys rock!
nice, i will check them out.
i also noticed youre a software developer, thats awesome, im also a developer (machine learning engineer)…
hope we both succeed and prosper in our careers!
hey dana, thank you for your incredible words of encouragement and support
you have no idea how much you helped!!
i totally agree with what youve said
and yes i did exercise yesterday and it really helped big-time
gonna continue fighting another day!
In addition to the other amazing suggestions here, have you chatted with a financial advisor about ways you can invest your newfound $$$?? Rather than idealizing a binge, what are some ways you could put that money to work for you? Maybe saving for a tangible goal? Or even an intangible (but necessary) retirement??
