I’m at the rock bottom point and it hurts. I feel so lonely. I can’t talk to anyone so I feel like I’m sitting here rotting. I got drunk 3 days ago and went out with a guy that I haven’t seen in over a year, that I know means no good to me. The next day when I came out of my drunken stupor I realized I only came back with one of my sandals on. I don’t know what all I did or didn’t do. Of course I didn’t tell any of my family any of this, so I’m all alone. Then to top it off the reason I got drunk in the first place is because I got in an argument with my adult daughter about not spending much time with me on Christmas. I unloaded on her a lot of stuff that I had been holding in and she said some things that I guess she had been holding in. Then I just turned to the bottle and got totally drunk and then turned to destructive behavior with a destructive man. It’s really a routine thing with me. Now here I am at rock bottom, by myself rotting. I just threw the other shoe away that matched the one I lost that night. I guess the first way to step up from rock bottom is to get rid of all the memories of the moment. I deleted the Facebook app, because all of the men that hurt me, and for some dumb reason I would still want to look at, are one click away. I want to quit drinking and stop with things that break me mentally and get on a more positive path. Right now I am at rock bottom and hurting really badly and honestly don’t see a way out of it completely. That’s why I always end up back here.
Good morning Angel.
I’m sorry your feeling so poorly again this morning. I remember you started a topic last night. I hope this can be your rock bottom and you can find your way out. Drinking always use to be my answer for everything. Good or bad.
There’s a great thread for checking in daily where people check in to be accountable and help each other out. Lots of great people there just trying every day, sometimes every hour to not take that first drink. That most important drink I cannot ever have again. Come check it out if you willing.
Thank you, that is something I definitely could use 
YW
My favorite thread and my strongest tool is the gratitude thread. I start my day on there every morning for the last 700 plus days since I joined this app.
In recovery, we either learn to be grateful, or we don’t last. Gratitude is the air of recovery. Gratitude is what makes the lungs of recovery fill, the heart beat, and the life flow. The attitude of gratitude focuses on what we have rather than what we don’t. With gratitude, there is such a thing as enough. People filled with gratitude aren’t good consumers because they don’t heed the message “You need more stuff. Stuff will make you whole.” Gratitude makes us whole, not stuff. It allows us to make the abundant blessings we already have in our life not only count, but be enough. And not just enough, but more than we could have imagined. Gratitude allows us to understand that there is enough for everyone so we don’t have to hoard whatever it is we think we need. There is plenty. In a culture addicted to the belief that “I need more,” people with an attitude of gratitude stand out. They are like roses growing out of cracks in a ghetto neighborhood. People watch. They see. And in being seen, we give some small measure of the bread of life to the world.
This works for me and a handful of others. Come on over. Coffee is always on. And there’s plenty of room for you.
That sounds like a great place for me. And the situation I’m in. I have three published books, but I really haven’t gone too far economically with them because I’m an extreme introvert and really not comfortable at all in public settings, especially when I need to take the spot light. It always goes disastrous because my mind goes blank. I try to have gratitude that I have published books although I will never be a millionaire or even a thousand aire off of it. I get a lot of ridicule for not getting out of my “comfort zone” to do more, which I’ve battled with a long time and realized it’s just TOO uncomfortable for me. So I have gratitude about what I do have and what was meant for me.
Theres always someone here to help you along, think we all been lost somewhere along the way and found ourselves here. Good place to start its rough when i first came to my senses but it gets easier to deal with life as i build my coping skills and work at maintaining sobriety. Your not alone plenty of great people here that can help when your feeling like its too much.
U can be open and honest with us. We have all done stupid things drunk, trying to get self esteem, or whatever. We get it. The shame of drinking bleeds over into other areas of life and makes us unsure, weak, etc. Since quitting drinking I am more confident and surer of what I want. It is easier to hold ur head up high when u make sober choices.
Before I got sober I used to do the same things. One thing at the beginning is I simply did not keep any alcohol in my house. I know it might sound silly, but not having access to it at the beginning was key to me. I knew I’d reach for it. I hope things get better for you. With love and support.
Thank you all. It is definitely true that we make better decisions when sober. I have been sitting home in a depression today. I didn’t have a drink today but I’m just so ashamed and humiliated about what I did a few days ago while drinking. It’s gonna take me a while just to get what little general confidence I did have back in order. I was supposed to go running today. That’s obviously not happening. Hopefully I have the emotional strength to get out there tomorrow.
Time to claw your way back up and head first into recovery
The perfect time is now 
I’ve recently started the Mindfulness for acceptance and anxiety workbook. Just wanted to share that it’s been really helpful these past few months. I understand what depression feels like and can I suggest willing yourself out the door tomorrow. As hard as it is to get out exercise really helps. I had to force myself to go skiing today but felt better after the fact. There are so many supportive people here,keep checking in, share your thoughts and feelings, and you’ll get tons of love and support from this community.
Keep checking in on here. This website is here to help and there is pretty much always someone around to chat with
I completely understand. This a great place to help heal. Maybe try meditating, stretching, listening to a sober podcast?
Can’t tell you how many bad decisions I’ve made, that started with the bad decision to drink.
Now that I’m sober, I make few bad decisions, and those that I do make aren’t really that bad.
“The way of the fool seems right in his own eyes, but wisdom is found in the counsel of many”
Welcome to the forum. The next time you feel your world becoming unbalanced, you now have an entire community to reach out to.
Thank you all! This site is amazing 
I wish I had came here much sooner. Today has not been a good day for me. I sat around depressed and didn’t do anything productive. But I feel cared for because this community of people are so supportive!
Time for a new measuring stick: Any day I begin and end sober is a good day, no matter what happens in the time between.
True, I need to stop with the pity party or the drinking and people I allow to take advantage of me have won. I need to get my life back.