Hi Allison,
I feel you and know how hard the first days ore weeks can be. But I can also tell you it’s worth the effort 
I do not know if you have kids of your own? So ever give birth? It seems like an odd question and maybe it is but I compaired those difficult houres/days with a contraction during giving birth. I pussed myself trough it by puffing and huffing trough the pain with in my head the sentence: “deze wee komt nooit meer terug” (this contraction never comes back).
And It works the same for recovery.
Yes, it’s difficult! It’s hard too! But if you push trough you never have to go trough this again and there is a big reward at the end!!
A sober life.
It is so much better then a drunken one I can say
Like @eph-M-eral already mentioned this forum contains treasures, there is so much good info to find here. Just use the search bar on top to find them. One I found usefull in my recovery is this one:Resources for our recovery It contains a list of good recovery books, podcasts as well as meetings and stuff.
For example I love to go outside for a walk in nature and listen to a recovery podcast while doing so. That is one of my new hobbies instead of drinking.
Again welcome and if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask! 
We are all here for you to help 