Im 3 days sober, we got this friend 
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Hey Clifford, I did read your post on the other thread and was putting together a reply but then it disappeared. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can start a new thread with that post again - I’m sure you will get some really useful support! You’re doing great with 3 days and I know its tough to do alone. Just reach out to us at any time, you’re not alone here.
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I’m 5 days completely sober now. Getting myself into a routine of work, swimming, dissertation work and reading a book before bed. Getting there slowly.
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Here goes again, my names clifford im 22 im an alcoholic.
I been chasing the buzz for 5 years now, while chasing that buzz at the bottom of a bottle, i found the love of my life. Shes 39 with two kids, the ages of 15 and 17
We got a house together
We got engaged, and had plans for life and a future as a family together.
While chasing that buzz i threw it all away.
We would get into so many fights.
I loved her to much to keep putting her through it.
So i left her, the kids, and the house.
When i relaized what i did, i drank even more and more everyday.
I spent more and more time at the bar, i soon realized that she had gotten a job working at the bar i attended on a regularly bases.
Their would be small talk here and their with me and her.
The i dont wanna talk to you, im entilted to feel how i feel, and your entitled to feel how you feel type of thing.
As the nights would go on.
It got to a point where i would have a few to many and I would have a few bar fights in the parking lot here and their, It was the alcohols fault. Because i don’t enjoy fighting.
I know, Yes I know its my fault, i take full accountability for my actions.
Suicide was an option for me at one point.
I knew i screwed up something i had that was good.
She was really good to me, she took care of me and all my needs, as i did for her as a man.
I had a mental breakdown, i shaved my head because it was better than taking my own life.
So i knew i had to quit drinking, because either the alcohol would kill me, or i would get to deep over my head and be in a really bad situation.
Now im seeking help.
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whelp.when i was 21 and fresh out of jail i helped my dad catch up on his house and truck note.
Yea aint that something, and we would drink every night.
I would ask him does this mean were alcoholics, he would tell me no, alcoholics drink everyday all day, its ok to have 4 or 5 beers everyday to take off the edge.
I thought it was ok. Because he thought it was ok.
I knew me asking that, their was something wrong with him telling me that.
I felt like an alcoholic, thats why i asked him that.
Then it progressed and i would have 1-2 mixed drinks every day. To take off the edge after a hard days work.
Now after I have come to realize that im an alcoholic, because my dad made me think thats not what an alcoholic is, but in fact it is.
Its the dependency of a foreign substance to take the freaking edge off.
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Before realizing i was an alcoholic i was spending 60$ every 4 days for. 4-15 packs of keystones and a bottle of jack.
I knew something had to change. I was an alcoholic
At the end of drinking my danger time was between getting off work and my husband coming home. For me I had to keep my mouth and hands busy. Apps and books in the train. Tea and mints on hand. Definite plans for cooking, picking the kids up, cleaning. I regularly rewarded myself with the money I saved from not drinking, in the early months, and looked forward to those things.
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It is not the amount you drink, but the lack of control and the damage you cause. I am sorry to hear about your relationship. What are you doing to quit drinking? It is hard to do randomly and alone. I know I needed guidance and support.
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When i left my ex i started working nights to keep my mind going but nights where i work are only till 10pm, so from 10pm till 2am was when the bar was still open 
so i would go and boy would i regret it the next day.
So i started spendimg more time playing with my dog when i got home. Go for walks in the park after dark. Or play the xbox.
I need to get a sketch pad so i can start drawling again. Keep my mind busy and a little more focused
Art is a great idea and an excellent outlet. Definitely changing up your routine will help. Nothing changes if nothing changes right? So creating a kind of list of things to do instead after work will help.
Also maybe if you’re into fitness or running, doing that in the morning may also motivate you to not drink after work as you’ll want to feel rested (and nothing is worse than working out when you’re hungover lol). Exercise is also awesome for mental health and helping us feel better about ourselves.
I created a type of “toolbox” with things to do instead of picking up a drink. And when the urges became strong I would make myself work through that toolbox before picking up a drink. More times than not, it distracted me and got me through those urges.
Got to take it one day at a time and focus on getting through each day as it comes. Tomorrow? Tackle that tomorrow. Today is your focus and the focus for that 24 hours is to not pick up that first drink and put a sober head on your pillow. As the days build, new habits form and it does get easier to manage.
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The longer you stay sober the more the urge will go away.
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It is hard i dont have support from other. This is really the first time i have said im going to quit drinking permanently and my brother in law was like i wonder how long thats gonna last.
Even people i work with question it. But i dont because i know im strong it is hard to quit on my own. Mayber after about a month or two i wont even think about it. All this will be in the past.
Its really really hard but its not randomly and although i feel alone im not completely alone i do have a whole support system that encourages me.
These doubts are the doubts that will push me to be like, oh yeah hold my beer and watch this.
It does hurt to see that people dont have the faith in me that i do have in my self and im going to do this and im going to prove them wrong, because i am strong.
I made the decision as a man to pick up the habit.
And im going to be the man that i am to drop the habit for good
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My advice would be to give AA and the steps a chance, you pretty much completed the first step - recognizing that you have a problem- and that’s great because for many that first part is the hardest. I had to go to rehab and then give a AA a chance and now I’m going on 3 years …and at times it’s surreal to me because I remember the times i downloaded this app and try doing it on my own …the most I did was 40 days…then I had an argument with my significant other and decided I " Needed " a drink to deal… Now I have a better understanding of my addiction and the fact that I ( and many of us ) don’t drink or use because we necessarily enjoy it…we do it to escape…to run away…but we always sober up and come back and do it again …that’s the very definition of insanity…doing the same thing and expecting a different result… I can tell you that without AA and the steps and all I learned from it …I would be drunk right now smh…so that’s my advice…try AA …give it a chance…it sure aa hell saved me , best of luck 
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Fill the fridge with yummy non-alcoholic drinks!! Get some mocktail ingredients, juices, lacroix, lagunitas has a really good NA seltzer, even hot teas(calming evening ones)I love vanilla bedtime tea and I use different creamers(coconut,almond, etc.) and different sweeteners (agave,honey,maple) Go on a special grocery run and spend some $$ on quality GOOD drinks that you’ll actually drink. You’re saving $$ not buying wine and can justify it. This helped me tremendously and I still do it. Hope this helps!
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It’s common that others don’t believe we will stick with it. So you’re not alone there. I think it’s safe to say many of us have said we were going to stop only to start again and it’s just such a socially acceptable thing to do, to go out and drink, that there are still many out there who think ‘oh yeah, whateveeeeer 
’.
But you’re doing it for you. It doesn’t matter what they think. Sure, use their lack of faith as some motivation but use your determination and desire to give yourself a better life the number 1 priority. You’re doing this for you because you deserve it.
I think it really admirable that at your age you are able to recognise and do something about it… best decision you’ll ever make!
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Yes, it happens to me as well. I am also 4 days sober…heading into day 5 soon.
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Very relatable to me, I never thought I had a problem because I didn’t drink my emotions and problems away. Just made my boring times less boring. Now I know exactly that was my problem.I lived very isolated almost in my room all day when I wasn’t working. So alcohol ‘fixed’ that boredom.
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So day 5 was probably one of the most biggest steps i have made. It was a hard day, the 1 year anniversary of me and my ex fiancée. I opened up the fridge and seen those 9 keystones just sitting their. I grabbed all of them out and opened one by one pooring them down the sink. My sister walked in the kitchen and i had a shity smirk i get on my face and she said what, i said happy 1 year to me.
New goals in life baby and getting hammered aint one of them. Sobriety really took me by surprise. It was just something i had really been wanting to do but never really actually took the right actions to do. Working on week 2 
Im 7 days sober
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Oh yay I’m so happy reading this! I was wondering how you were going and its great to see you check in!
Well done on pouring them all down the sink, that takes guts and power to you!
Big congrats on your 7 days 
If you feel comfortable you can join us with checking in daily on this thread also
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Hey how’s it going?