getting sober is amazing… but the order I’ve done it is important and will let me have a beautiful long life sadly unlike my parents
I got into to drugs at a very young age around 15. I smoked cannabis every day for 3 years strait and then the heavy drinking hit when I was around 17. even before that I was always addicted to something… sex, video games, severe anorexia & bulimia. you name it! I’ve been a mess.
my mom had an anxiety attack right after I was born then spiraled into deep depression. I’ve never known true motherly love…
anyway back to my point I’m not trying to be a pity party, just piecing together my traumas. my parents are both alcoholics. my dad is more severe tho he drinks maybe 20 units a day… he’s killing himself before my eyes and he’s completely lost his personality and I think maybe his life soon. he goes to meetings but they’ve only seemed to make him drink more. his father lost his life to alcohol…
I WILL NOT have the same fate
I will not let this happen to me. I will not abuse my children the same way I was abused. I got in a car accident while my parents were high or drunk when I was a kid, ever since then I have swore to myself I will never let my children suffer the same way I did.
This is a good place to check in. A lot (if not most ) of us check in here daily with each other if we have good (or bad) things to say about our day. Everyone here has been incredibly supportive to me, and I’m sure they will be for you too.
It’s a little after midnight where I am, so I’m heading to bed. Hope you have a good night (or day)
So glad you’re here, and here, is a helluva better place than out there.
Why I’m here… I’m an alcoholic- but a simple one.
Recommendation: Find what works to keep you focused on not using/drinking, and do that work every day. Even if it’s small steps. It all adds up to being happy, joyous and free!
It sounds like you know what you want. That’s a good thing. Most people don’t really know what they want, so they drift aimlessly through their life, physically present, but absent in mind and in spirit.
If you know what you want, you can move purposefully, one day at a time, to get it.
You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self Welcome to the community
My dad is an alcoholic and even after suffering multiple strokes he won’t stop and he never will. Its a really hard thing to accept. The one time I had courage to bring up AA asking if he’d ever go with me when I was thinking about it he had a strong response basically saying “f*** no” He’s already not healthy from what he’s been through, I hate to watch him put more damage into his body. I have struggled since a young age as well, I know how hard it is to piece together your trauma in order to heal. Our psyche was protecting us from so much. I wish you well on your healing journey.
yes I’ve come to love small steps. like there’s a giant block of bad coping mechanisms around my soul and I’m chipping away at them one by one. some bigger or smaller than others but every chip off the block is important!
Looking forward to seeing you around.
Welcome to the community 