I’m ready to leave mommy wine culture behind.
It’s my excuse to drink. That my day was hard, kids are hard and that I deserve drinks. Every. Single. Night.
Truth be told, I was a nightly drinker long before having kids. It just continued after every single pregnancy. I’ll make it a week or so and be back to drinking. I’ve had 5 kids in 6 years. I have a beautiful life, but any minor stress or inconvenience I handle with wine.
Since having my last baby I’ve been able to cutback to only drinking on weekends for the most part. But that’s an entire bottle of wine every Friday and Saturday night.
I need to make changes. I’m ready to.
I’m a very functional drinker. I do the absolute most for my kids and from the outside looking in I’m guessing no one knows how often I drink, aside from my husband who is also a frequent drinker.
I’m ready for what goes on inside my house to match what everyone sees from the outside.
I don’t know where to start but know that I would like to start this journey.
Hi there, let me just recommend to read/listen “Sober Diaries” by Clare Pooley. She writes exactly about mommy wine culture and you might find it relatable and really, really helpful.
Good luck on your sober journey!
Welcome S! Being a Mom of 5 sounds busy! 
I haven’t had any kids of my own, but I do have a long history of telling myself I’ve earned that glass (or bottle) of wine after work each day. I also put a lot of effort into trying to manage it and moderate it (weekends only, or only one a night, etc) - until, like you, my inner and outer worlds didn’t match, and my inner world was getting unmanageable.
This app and the people on it have helped me put that glass of wine down for good, at least for well over a year now - all by taking it one day at a time, sometimes one hour or one moment at a time.
Read around, stick around, post, ask questions! The lights are usually always on around here, no matter what hour. 
A lot of people find some good company and accountability/traction in the Daily Check In thread:
I read my story in your message…
Recognize it all.
Glad you are heading towards a new direction now as well as I did. Maybe you would like to check out this very informative thread:What's YOUR plan? It gives a bit hand and feet on how to start. And here you find how I did it:2 years sober and what helped me to get there: if you are interested. Maybe you see something you can use too
Welcome! I recognise everything in your story, although I only had 2 children (wow, 5 is impressive). I totally understand burning out and that need for reward. For me it separated the chaos of the day from the evening too. I gave so much to my children and wine was a way of marking out some time for me. There are other, much healthier ways though.
Please stick around here, read some of the threads and start posting. It makes such a difference and there are wonderful people here.
IMHO you made the perfect start by coming here. Dealing with stuff by drinking is trying to do it by yourself. Which is a road to nowhere. We need each other, especially us who use substances to get away from reality. We need each other to talk and share and learn and grow. For me this place has been the perfect get together. For others it may be found in meetings, yet others find their own way. But I am 100% sure it can’t be done alone. Welcome S! Very glad to have you aboard. One day at a time for all of us.
Welcome to the site and especially for making the decision that you want a change. The help and resources are here for you!
Welcome 
this is wonderful to read, thank you @Momof5 
i am a mom of 1, and i too knew i had to leave drinking behind to really enjoy the fruits of life. i am almost 7 months sober and once i got the hang of it, the journey has been, well, magnificent.
i’m so excited for you to become more present in this beautiful life of yours. you matter so much, and i’m grateful you’re ready to cherish your self more deeply. all it takes is that knowing desire, and the courage to commit - and certainly a mother of 5 has some of the greatest courage a human could possess! 
you got this mama 🫶🏽