Hello and welcome
With more than 53,000 topics, 1.8 million posts and 41,300 members (that’s 7,800 new members in 2023!), it can be hard to know where to start. This topic has been put together to help you with that.
We are people from all over the world who are working out how to do life sober - from alcohol, other drugs, sex and love addictions, self harm and much more . . . we all have different stories and are at different places in our journey, but we are all here today and that’s what matters!
Rules and Guidelines
First and foremost, please take a few minutes to familiarise yourself with the forum rules and guidelines:
Remember that the forum, and therefore anything you post except in private messages (or certain categories like the lounge - more on this later!) is available for anyone on the internet to find. Bear this in mind with your username, profile information and any other details you wish to post. Find out more about the forum at About - Talking Sober - Addiction Recovery Forum & Support Group - you can read the FAQ there (quite informative), as well as the TOS and Privacy information.
The Moderators
Your Talking Sober moderators are @Lisa07 @Misokatsu @Mno @SassyRocks @Dan531 and @RosaCanDo. The moderator team are volunteers and members here too, seeking and receiving help in our own journeys through sobriety. We do not read all posts and rely on the community to help keep things ticking along. Our role here is to help keep things running smoothly, keep the forum tidy and review flags, etc. If you see something that you think is not in the spirit of the forum guidelines, please flag it and we will review.
To contact us directly, send a private message to @moderators. Please note, that tagging @moderators in a post does not work . . . only in a PM. You can tag us each individually in a post.
Keeping the forum tidy
Keeping the forum tidy helps everyone find and make the most of the support that’s here. There are a few things you can do to help!
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Use the search bar in the top right before you create a new topic - you might find someone has recently asked the same question as you. Joining active conversations is a brilliant way of building a network here quickly, as well as getting the benefit of the information that has already been offered.
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When you do create a new topic, use the categories and think about adding a tag. This helps people find other conversations and community they relate to, as well as avoiding subjects they may find triggering or traumatic (see more in Seeking Help and also Trigger Warning sections below).
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Lots of people like to use the forum as a type of journal, checking in regularly to keep track of their progress and get support along the way. Please keep any journal type posts to one topic, rather than creating new check in posts every day. Many people join the Checking In Daily thread as a way to build community and share their progress. Talking Sober also offers a personal Guided Journaling feature that is 100% private, just for you. (Introducing Guided journaling)
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Those with Regular status (Trust Level 3) can add tags and categorise threads of other people’s posts, this is encouraged.
Posting while under the influence and a safe space for troubling discussions
Posting while under the influence or while actively using is against forum rules. Moderators and members with ‘Regular’ status can move these posts to the Seeking Help category, or you can opt-in to this category if you would like to support those struggling with active addiction. These posts will not show up on the main forum.
Please note that the Seeking Help category is all encompassing. It is not just for those actively using, it is for those who want to discuss being sober curious, being ‘California sober’, etc.; as well as a place to discuss mental health crisis or trauma. It is meant to be a safe space for potentially triggering discussions to be had off the main forum.
(Seeking help - under the influence - Talking Sober - Addiction Recovery Forum & Support Group)
Trigger Warnings
If you are discussing something that may be traumatic to others, pIease add a trigger warning (TW) to the title of your post. And if you are discussing potentially triggering subjects, please create a new topic with a TW rather than adding this into existing threads. If you do end up sharing in an existing thread, please add a TW at the beginning of your post. Regulars and Moderators can edit existing posts to add trigger warnings and/ or tags by clicking the pencil icon next to the title. If you are not a regular and find a post concerning, please message @moderators and we will handle accordingly.
Sometimes we don’t realise what we are discussing could be problematic for others - and that’s OK! We assume everyone posts with the best of intentions and moderators are on hand to help tidy things up as needed. The moderators rely on people flagging or messaging us when they see issues, and we also rely on the support of members with regular status to make changes as they feel appropriate. When you do make changes please let the moderators know that you did!
Trust levels and ‘the lounge’
When you join the forum, the functionality available to you is limited. The more you participate, the more you are able to do here. Note that the easiest way to increase your trust level is to read lots, which is also likely to be pretty useful for your sobriety! When you achieve Regular status (Trust Level 3) you get access to the lounge which is a category that is not visible on the main forum.
Respecting personal boundaries
The connections we forge here, often while we are at our most vulnerable, can feel incredibly close. This is of course one of the amazing things about the forum, the support that we all give and receive, but it does occasionally lead to emotional entanglements that may not break the rules, but can be challenging to deal with. We are all adults and free to make our own choices, but it is something to be aware of when entering into conversations, particularly via private message. Respecting personal boundaries in recovery
A few frequently asked questions to get you started
The frequently asked questions thread has a collection of some really useful topics and questions that pretty much all of us have asked or thought about at one time or another. Some of the posts are quite old, but there is some universal content there. We highly recommend reading thru these…and please let us know if any links are broken.
In closing
One of the best pieces of advice we see and share often is to read, read and read some more. You might be surprised at how much you can relate to someone on the face of it very different from you, or you might find just the answer you’re looking for.
Keep checking in and reach out whenever you need to