I have been smoking weed almost 10 years every single day, I recognize the addiction and have been trying to stop for years and everytime I do I have a difficult few days which ends up in my husband explaining to me why I should be using and going to get even if I beg for him not to go. He doesnt smoke anymore mind you, he hasn’t in years. Other than this the relationship is solid and leaving him just is not an option because we do love each other. We are both going to seperate therapies but my psychiatrist doesnt help either because it does help me alot she doesnt recommend stopping yet because if I do then I’ll need less safe and readily available medication to at the very least be able to sleep.
Thats why I started at 18 because since I was a little girl no matter what it takes me 3-4 hours to fall asleep. We went on a disneyvacation recently to where it wasnt legal so I left it at home and after 44 hours awake unable to sleep at all and despite being very active all day I finally crashed but that too was short lived.
However I am going for weight loss surgery and need to stop at least a month beforehand for my own safety which is tomorrow and a month after, now I think if I can keep that up I may as well just stop all together as I am tired of this dependancy. thing is… I do not care about my own safety I am one of those people that could die tomorrow and not even their parents would care or know and despite being loved and having a husband and some great friends I know theyd move on because everyone does… you grieve and then life moves on.
I guess I am just looking for similar stories, and hope that its not going to be nagging at me forever and looking for people that recognize that I am addicted instead of giving me excuses like the people around me. I have ADHD too so it helps manage that too so theres a lot of excuses that can be made.
Yes I know I am the boss of my own actions but when I do feel low after stopping briefly or cant sleep then my husband coming home with a joint genuinely feels like a rescue.
Hi Sanne, this is very similar to my story. I’m even on here right this moment after waking up from some horrible nightmares.
Welcome to the forums. They are truly a life saver. Lots of people have been in the same boat and not only learned how to swim, but how to build a stronger boat.
Keep checking in here every day. That’s the only way I’ve been able to be sober for 40 days now. And take it one day at a time. You’re not alone in this.
I am 15 months clean after over a decade addiction to weed. Today I wrote down some things I’ve learned that I just shared with another person struggling and I will share with you.
All those times you feel you “need” it, is because you continue to use. Your brain will rewire and learn you actually don’t. The constant anxiety of needing it will go away.
Using will give you temporary relief. Quitting will give you a sustainable, healthy way of coping and regulating long term.
You will notice a clarity in your mind and eyes you had lost in the depths of your addiction.
You will surprise yourself at what you are capable of.
The pride and peace you discover is unmatched.
Also, please don’t be like me and smoke anyways leading up to surgery. I did that before my breast lift and they had to use extra anesthesia on me which is really scary and it also made me even more sick upon waking up which is a living hell when you’re already in so much pain.
You got this. You only feel like you need it because you keep using. I have adhd as well so I totally get it. Lifelong health and sustainability is much more worth the temporary relief that keeps you in that vicious cycle. You deserve better.