Welcome to the forum! I totally can relate to ur post. I was petrified to get clean and sober. Every time i went into rehab or attempted to stop on my own, i was scared to life with it and without it. But the reality was, was that i knew where addiction was going to lead me. I didnt know at the time where recovery was going to lead me but it had to be better than where i was at. A hopeless shell of a human being, lost, alone, bankrupt in many ways. Change is scary for alot of us but u dont have to hit rock bottom to change. It sounds like u have alot to lose. U can put addiction in its place and change ur life for the better 
we are here to help
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Thank you for the encouraging words i appreciate it
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Thank you i appreciate the response ive always been the strong tough guy but im completely on my knees right now. Its nice to hear from people without an agenda.i feel like some of my friends need me to be an alcoholic to stay in thier journey
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If this is the case then are they truly your friends. One of the hard thing about quitting i hear people say time and again is how hard it is losing your drinking buddies and the socialization aspect but at the end of the day you will make new friends and find that those bonds will be far more healthy and Intrinsically valuable
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I am a girl but because everyone tells me I look like a viking (i am tall and built like a box essentially lol) and I try not to look upset in front of people, people see me like I am this tough bitch but I am very sensitive. I was able to showcase that this year and I think it helped me like I got liberated but still you cannot control when or if that happens
You say you are on your knees which sounds like you have fallen.
You have not.
You are here now because you want to fight.
You are on your feet. You may feel weak but you are not. Weak people are not able to admit feeling weak at times.
For the friends thing I have a story basically: I announced to my best friend that I have started hitting the gym and that I will no longer drink or smoke. One day he calls me and he says we opened this bar or smth like that, ditch the protein shakes and let me buy you a drink.
He said it twice. I said to him no from the first time.
We never talked again.
I am 20 and have no one to go out with most of the time because he and his friends were my friend group.
Still I would much rather be alone and sober than wasted with people that are not with my through thick and thin
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It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and to be honest with ourself about our addiction problem. Its the first step in the right direction. Take your time, its not a race…sobriety is a journey not a destination. One day at a time, if it gets too hard, take it one hour, or one minute at a time.
We are here to support you!! 🫶🏻
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It takes guts to admit you have an addiction. It takes strength to ask for support with addiction. From what I see, your inner strength easily matches your outer strength. Far from weak. What tools or skills did you use to drop cocaine addiction? They can be bolstered through coming here, and being around like minded people who are on sober journeys. We get you and we’ve got your back. The energy you put into your old drinking buddies may be better invested in yourself. It’s time to be selfish about your sobriety. Talking with your wife about it will happen when you feel ready. Be kind to yourself, this is tough but doable. As a newbie here, I found this helpful resource that clearly and concisely steps out a sobriety plan:
What’s YOUR plan?
Check it out and take from it what you need. You’re not alone in this journey. We’re riding dirty with you. You’ve got this!
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Hey man, welcome to TS
I will say I’m probably more like you than even I’d care to admit, but here we both are.
You took a great first step by joining up. There are some fantastic people here, great insights and amazing information. And when you just need some inspiration, read the many many stories here. They definitely help you understand you aren’t alone.
I’m only 50 days in on this journey to kick the booze, but I can say it is amazing to wake up feeling great. Moving through the day not worried about when you can break away and have another drink bash. Be clear headed for your family, for work for getting shit all figured out. It does work and it gets better.
Wish you well brother, and hope to see you around.
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Welcome i no its clichés but admitting it and asking for help is the hardest part , yes its rough at the start but worth it man , i here u about tough on the outside i was always known as the bloke who could handle his drink and drink for days while others were doing coke id keep up with them just on booze but inside i was dying and i couldnt tell anyone often suffering from awful hangovers were i contemplated ending my life , it took me to lose everything to finally accept what i am and i needed help so well done for admitting it to yourself before that , now there will be bumps in the road and maybe relapses maybe not but whatever there is always someone on here with great advice your not alone. Stay strong 
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You’re in the right place, keep coming back here and keep reading, build up a tool kit to improve your life.
I have been sober for over two years now and believe me it can change your life for the better if you’re willing to put in the work to achieve it!
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This right here:
I used to beat myself up for being unable to drive my family to or from places due to alcohol in my system. This change has been a liberating benefit since sobriety. I have higher self esteem, knowing I can be there in a pinch.
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Welcome! I don’t know how I found this group either but I’m thankful that I did. I hope you find the forums as helpful as I did and still do.
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Welcome to the forum, it’s a really safe place to be when you are trying to not drink. To wake up and commit to a sober day, to take action on that commitment and lay a sober head on the pillow at night, that was a challenge for me. Some days it took a lot of strength of will, but most days I found it easier to just surrender to the reality that I needed help and to use the help that was so easily available to me.
If you’re wondering maybe why you posted, check out this thread about the journey of recovery. Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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Just want to say Welcome 
and send you good vibes.
There are threads on ressources for recovery, check- in, gratitude you are happiliy invited to join.
TS is always in your pocket, you are not alone. We are from all over the world, come here, share, read, distract yourself on the meme thread or the pet/cat thread or the many many themes and hobbies threads …
sounds you are a heavy drinker. Please consider getting sober / detox under medical surveillance as there are risks that need medical support when occuring.
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Wow thank you everyone. I couldn’t imagine the replies and good wishes. Just thank you.
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Hi and Welcome!
I’m also a grandparent to a pair of 3 year olds. I’m divorced, so I have no one to account to but myself. I’ve been an addict all my life as well, alcohol at a young age continuing to be the hardest one to quit. Coke and other drugs in my 20 and 30s. For a couple years, I too asked God almost every morning to help me. I could go to work, and come home and binge drink until I blacked out. Got up the next day, and repeat. I swear, I hardly ever took a break in decades.
I was in the Google play store, and found this app, and a few others. This is the only one I kept. I’m not what anyone would call a success story, but I’m still here, and today is day 56 alcohol free.
The one thing I know, and you already have on your side, is you need to want this for yourself. That is the best reason of all. 
Good luck my friend, keep coming back, and never quit yourself! You and everyone else that wants to quit their DOC (my last decade was vodka) deserve to be free. 
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Thanks for sharing where you at and how you feeling. Glad you came and you’re not alone as many have said. This is a good place to vent when you need to and a place you can find ppl that understand without judgment. Keep coming back and venting and reaching out. Take it one day at a time. Peace n love n i wish you well 
.
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You sound like a younger me … less the 'grandparent" part. Ive never had kids ( I’m selfish) but am incredibly mothering.
However … I have “rocked” at handling my booze and drugs while working in the oil and gas industry, physical labour etc.
I was great at it … until I wasn’t.
I have legit poisoned the shit out of my brain. THAT’S what I learned and now remind myself of daily. Am I worried about 'fitting in"? Hell yes … but I’m more worried about the rest of my life.
I only have a few loved ones … but if I was a Grandparent or more so a Parent ( your kid had to grow up with your choices) … knowing it’s time to get it together … that should be the right push, in the right direction.
AND … YOU ARE HERE 
Proof you want a better and hopefully longer, better life to spend with your fam.
I sooo relate to your post! Man, do I!!
It is, at the end of every day, better to be sober.
I see you. I hope to see more of you in here. It helps.
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In the end youll be a different person…
New places to go with new friends youve met…who will like the new you.
You’ll get there when you are ready…and we’ll be here when you are.
Be well
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Good morning. Sometimes the hardest part is to admit we have a problem, the second is to act for help.
You have to work for the life you want. I go to meetings and reach out to people when I need help. I also read the “Big Book “ of Alcoholics Anonymous and work the program of the 12 steps.
I have been sober for almost two years. From black out drinking almost every night, waking up with shame and regret . The work is so worth it.
I didn’t know how I would live without alcohol. How could I enjoy parties and cookouts? Dinner without wine , let’s face it almost everything without alcohol ?
Life is so much better without alcohol.
Good luck on your journey. Reach out we are here for you.
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