Just want to say Welcome 
and send you good vibes.
There are threads on ressources for recovery, check- in, gratitude you are happiliy invited to join.
TS is always in your pocket, you are not alone. We are from all over the world, come here, share, read, distract yourself on the meme thread or the pet/cat thread or the many many themes and hobbies threads …
sounds you are a heavy drinker. Please consider getting sober / detox under medical surveillance as there are risks that need medical support when occuring.