Checking in daily to maintain focus #66

Continuing the discussion from Checking in daily to maintain focus #65 - #2526 by GOKU2019.

Previous discussions:

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@Lighter Happy Birthday :tada:

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Heh, Iā€™ve never been first before :upside_down_face: Man did I catch up on sleep today! Slept 7 hours over night, put my daughter on the bus and slept 3 more, woke up to eat, then slept another 2! I was shocked :astonished: but in less pain. I wanted to get to the dishes today, but instead of feeling bad I went in my daughterā€™s room to feel better.

I didnā€™t think to take a before pic of the other corner/closet bc I didnā€™t plan on doing it, but it basically looked the same. Happy that I pushed myself so hard, and was able to rest today. After work tomorrow I plan to hang up some new artwork for her and start sorting thru the old stuff in the living room. Spring cleaning for real :muscle:

Work was less desirable. Iā€™m really getting sick of my bosses ineptitude. Every choice she makes is making our job that much harder for no reason. She wonā€™t take the advice of us who have worked there longer than sheā€™s even been allowed work! I canā€™t go thru another summer like last year :sleepy: Eh, one day at a time :pray: At least she usually leaves me alone when itā€™s just me on lunch, so tomorrow should be fine. Have a good 24 everyone :grin:

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Happy youā€™re feeling better and got some good sleep. The desk looks fabs! Good grab on that :+1:

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Right?! Hard to find a nice used desk for sale let alone free! The only issue is itā€™s very obvious that incense and weed was kept in it. Could be worse :woman_shrugging:

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*Day 2052 :walking_woman:
11 days before holiday.
Went to a old town with my aunt yesterday, had a good time beside the ā€œdealā€ that she talks and I listen. Thatā€™s why I always invite her to do something more active otherwise I go mad.


Today? A walk, some house chores and tonight I go out for dinner with the Iranian lady from my new vollunteer job.
Have a good day ore night all! :pray:
:raising_hand_woman:

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@Chevy55 My oh my, that home gym of yours looks rad. Very impressed. Thanks for sharing. I was thinking how different things are in our respective corners of the world. It would be very difficult to find so much space where I live due to the high population density here. On the other hand I can have a face to face appointment at my GPs office after a 5min walk.
@Just_Laura Maybe that sleep jinx is working too well? :thinking: The before/after pictures look like a lot of work. Impressive.
@wahtisnormal Nice to hear you got some good time for yourself. The light looks beautiful in your pictures.
@JazzyS Those air fryer stories are still taunting me :wink:
@MrFantastik Have a peaceful night shift.
@Butterflymoonwoman Sleep is the best :sleeping::blush:
@Mali Congrats on the job. I hope they get to paying you the right money soon.
@Seizetheday Congrats to you Hannah :clap:t2::muscle:t2::sunglasses::partying_face: Four months is quite a streak. Well done Friend.
@Whereswaldo Sounds like youā€™re reaping the benefits of sobriety. Well done :clap:t2:
@leroy So great to hear you found such a good place to be at with such good people to be around. Your post is glowing with positivity. :hugs:

162 sugar
26 UPF
33 gluten
12 dairy
11 overeating/binge

Today should be less hectic. Back to my food journal then. Itā€™s been doing magic for me.

I donā€™t have any particular plans for today apart from the usual. Game development and design in the morning. A walk for my lunch break, hopefully my daughter will join me. I want to up my yoga practice later in the afternoon and get back into the kind of intermediate stuff again.

Whatever life may bring, Iā€™ll solve it using my sober tools one breath at a time. I wonā€™t try to fix it with food. Feelings are not a food group. It wonā€™t work. It will only make it worse.

Wishing yā€™all a fantastic day in peace, kindness, and freedom :peace_symbol::people_hugging::dove:

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Iā€™m here, Iā€™m alive, Iā€™m sober and Iā€™m happy.
Day 64

Love the bright nights we have now.
Was up way to late yesterday :laughing:

Times like this I also wish that homeschooling was legal in my country. Thereā€™s so much I want the kids to see, experience and discover this time at the year. That we barley have time to do.
I try anyway, but the stress in school the last weeks of the term is taking the most out of them.

At the same time Iā€™m grateful that it isnā€™t legal. Just the thought of what actually couldā€™ve happened to me in my childhood if homeschooling where legal is scary.
Not that the social services got involved anyway sue to the freedom of religion. But if the same thing happened to day I think that they might have.

Speaking of the Devil, when I finally got some sleep last night I dream about him. In this case thatā€™ll be Nate. It doesnā€™t happens often nowadays. And it doesnā€™t freak me out like it used to. But itā€™s annoying, whatā€™s even more annoying is that I miss him. After this long and after all back and forth with this guy even in current time with him showing exactly who he is still, you would think that I should have some logic and feel different about that. But I donā€™t. And that annoys me.

Well, enough about that and to some positive non heavy updates instead.

My daughter came with us to so some Maying yesterday. She came back home with us for some bbq.
The local Mechanic guy showed up uninvited as well, and our friend who recently moved to the neighbor village did the same, and came with his daughter.

Both of them made comments about how they always feel ao welcoming here. Not the feeling I thought they had, especially not since the local mechanic guy got mad at me last time he was here. But Iā€™m still glad that they feel that way.

Did some garden work and Dug up the roses and Gladiolus my father wanted me to plan in our garden. My husband didnā€™t think I should do it because ā€œItā€™s a memory of my fatherā€ well in my opinionz Iā€™ve got plenty of memories without my garden being a memorial.
For me it was pure freedom to change that.

And freedom is pretty much what Iā€™m always chasing. Freedom and happiness.

Wishing yā€™all a great Thursday :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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I just have read pieces of the formal daily check in thread trying to catch up. I read your message about you and your partner splitting up.
Thatā€™s hard, after 30 years together. Such a long time! Break ups are so difficult, Iā€™m sorry you are going trough one. Just wanna give you a hug if thatā€™s ok?
giphy (17)

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Day 313. Working on website 6-8 then day job 8-5
Then I will relax. Just trying to get things running smoothly

I had strange dreams of being in a bar and having to convince people I was drinking alcohol free beer. Not sure what that was all aboutā€¦ I occasionally feel the ā€˜why have u stopped drinkingā€™, in peopleā€™s chats with me or ā€˜still???ā€™ I donā€™t want to be all evangelical about being soberā€¦ It just works for me as alcohol just so doesnā€™t!

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:black_circle: 38

When Zarathustra went one day over the great bridge, then did the cripples and beggars surround him, and a hunchback spake thus unto him:

ā€œBehold, Zarathustra! Even the people learn from thee, and acquire faith in thy teaching: but for them to believe fully in thee, one thing is still needfulā€”thou must first of all convince us cripples! Here hast thou now a fine selection, and verily, an opportunity with more than one forelock! The blind canst thou heal, and make the lame run; and from him who hath too much behind, couldst thou well, also, take away a little;ā€”that, I think, would be the right method to make the cripples believe in Zarathustra!ā€

Zarathustra, however, answered thus unto him who so spake: When one taketh his hump from the hunchback, then doth one take from him his spiritā€”so do the people teach. And when one giveth the blind man eyes, then doth he see too many bad things on the earth: so that he curseth him who healed him. He, however, who maketh the lame man run, inflicteth upon him the greatest injury; for hardly can he run, when his vices run away with himā€”so do the people teach concerning cripples. And why should not Zarathustra also learn from the people, when the people learn from Zarathustra?

It is, however, the smallest thing unto me since I have been amongst men, to see one person lacking an eye, another an ear, and a third a leg, and that others have lost the tongue, or the nose, or the head.

I see and have seen worse things, and divers things so hideous, that I should neither like to speak of all matters, nor even keep silent about some of them: namely, men who lack everything, except that they have too much of one thingā€”men who are nothing more than a big eye, or a big mouth, or a big belly, or something else big,- reversed cripples, I call such men.

[ā€¦]

The people told me, however, that the big ear was not only a man, but a great man, a genius. But I never believed in the people when they spake of great menā€”and I hold to my belief that it was a reversed cripple, who had too little of everything, and too much of one thing.

[ā€¦]

Verily, my friends, I walk amongst men as amongst the fragments and limbs of human beings!

_________________________***

[ā€¦]

Hath the Will become its own deliverer and joy-bringer? Hath it unlearned the spirit of revenge and all teeth-gnashing?

And who hath taught it reconciliation with time, and something higher than all reconciliation?

-F.N. ā€˜ā€˜Thus Spoke Zarathustraā€™ā€™

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1790


My long weekend just started. Feeling pretty good about stuff again. Some ups and downs still occurring as the days go by. I guess thatā€™s just life happening. Maybe Iā€™m still getting used to feeling different feelings on a regular basis instead of just feeling a baseline of discontent and unhappiness that I tried to forget by using my DOCā€™s. It takes time to live life in a positive and purposeful way.

Funny how using the word purposeful triggers me a bit. As if itā€™s stupid to give my life purpose. As if itā€™s treason to the former me, the one who just ran away from it all and tried to deal with everything alone, by using my DOCā€™s, disappointed and cynical at what life had offered me. While itā€™s actually what makes me tick these days, to have some purpose in life. Even when that purpose at times is ā€˜justā€™ enjoying it. Which I do through so many different things now, but is always open for betterment. One day at a time. Sober and clean.

Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from outside my workplace, where you wonā€™t see me this coming four days :sunglasses:

@acromouse Iā€™m sorry Aga. Hoping something good will come out of all this for you :people_hugging:

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I captured this this morning.

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Beautiful numbers and a great catch Delia, congrats!

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Day 118 AF

Up and at em at 5am to catch a sunrise. Sleeping really well and deeply lately. Shorter than Iā€™d like but quality is very good.
Wife starts her new job as a server at one of the busiest and best bar and grills around today with a double shift. First time sheā€™s gone to work in over 3 years since we decided to move across the country. She only wants PT so she can help with lawn business but I think sheā€™ll enjoy getting back out with people. Sheā€™s definitely more of a people person than I.

Hitting gym this morning then working on zero turn mower and some other pieces of equipment. Then in to grab some lime, fertilizer and topdress for a few clients yards. I love physical work!!!

@Deelzebub , that is a fun number and congratulations on achieving them
@acromouse I agree, our homes are excessive over here sometimes in rural areas. I love those smaller homes in Europe, and the historyā€¦ Gym is in the basement which is pretty common to have one here for mechanical and heating equipment.
I wish you best wishes today as you work through some things :heart:
@SoberWalker , omg Claudia that view is so beautiful. Iā€™d love walking that everyday. I yearn to walk those typeā€™s of places. So quaint and foreign :heart:
@Just_Laura what a lovely little desk for her and great job on the clean up. Perhaps your daughter will keep it like that, lol :wink:. Sorry to hear the struggles with your boss, thatā€™s always tough but hopefully like you say, you stay busy and she leaves you aloneā€¦ Best wishes on that.

Enjoy your day as best you can TS people. I wish you all the best
:pray::heart::peace_symbol:

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Thank you @SoberWalker, you are so sweet :hugs:
Hugs are always welcome.

Thanks @Mno, @Chevy55. Life will be good, life is good. There is enough goodness in my life right now.

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Good morning everyone! Checking in on day 152. Mentally not a good day, not sure why but I know I wonā€™t let it impact my recovery. Itā€™s been good to catch up on reading posts, see how everyone is doing :heart:. I hope you all have the most amazing day!

@CATMANCAM thank you my friend! Itā€™s good to ā€œseeā€ you :heart:
@JazzyS youā€™re the best girl, what can I say! Iā€™ve missed ya!
@Jasty2 how are you my friend? Howā€™s the move going? I hope all is well.
@Chevy55 enjoy your day my friend!

:v:t3: and :purple_heart:

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Day 62

Slept ok, so itā€™s a good day. More rain for the next few days. It helps me sleep! Plenty to do here at the house, and finally I can start on it. So happy to be starting to feel healthy and functional. :heart:

Have a good sober day

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I think I checked in this morning but had a thought today.

2 years ago exactly, I had just reached 40 days. It was awful. I was devoid of emotions. I wanted to end my life. I had a plan to make that happen.
I had tried to go sober without support. Without a plan. Without having a goal. Without preparing myself.
This time around, I had you guys. I had some psychologist appointments under my belt. I had more support from my family and a more positive environment. I was prepared and most of all, I was ready.

45 days today and no looking back.

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Glad youā€™re here and knocking er outta the park WW!! :tada:

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And it keeps getting better and better from here in Marie.

Best wishes for an amazing day!! :heart:

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